My WH doesnt want to make our marriage work so theres no chance i should or could be plan B ing is there?<p>He still sees OW, but as friends and with her H and family...so, no affair going on...i guess...<p>Perhaps the cold hard fact is that i am separated and cant put any specific plan into action accept work on myself and get on with life...<p>Dancer

Hi there Dancer,
I must admit that I have neither been nor done what you are doing, but I DO believe that taking care of yourself, creating and having a life for yourself and being good to yourself IS IN ORDER for sure at this point.<p>You have to be so good to yourself right now to make sure you realize that you ARE LOVABLE and DESIRABLE and WORTHY of respect and the highest honor. Whatever you need to do to get there (mentally and emotionally), do it. You're already there in God's eyes (spiritually). Did you know "he who finds a wife finds a GOOD THING?!!" You are a "GOOD THING" in God's opinion. Don't rely on your H to validate you. Maybe he will realize what he is losing when he notices that you can make it without him.

Notable Posts<p>Please read this thread esp. the Plan B section...

Dancer: "Perhaps the cold hard fact is that i am separated and cant put any specific plan into action accept work on myself and get on with life..."<p>me: That sounds like a pretty good plan to me, at least the basic outline. I do think you need to add some specifics, but it's a good plan!

Please read the Plan B posts that BinThere referred you to.<p>I apologize for not knowing your story. I see you've been here since June. I will try to go back and read some of your posts. But in a nutshell... How has your PLan A been? How much contact do you have with your H these days?<p>I had to Plan A in separation for 7 months - except for 3 VERY short spurts (just a few days)when he came home. He was very clear about wanting out, and gave me D papers to agree to in October. I began Plan B in Dec. because he was wanting to continue a friendship. Frankly, I was so disgusted with him - with his lies and attitude, it was VERY difficult for me to communicate with him. He was living with OW, and denying it, pretending to be my friend, bla bla bla. So I went to Plan B to protect me, to protect the love still left for him, and to give him a glimpse of life without me at all. All of his needs to be filled by OW.<p>So, there's my little bit of 2 cents. Depending on your contact now, and if your meeting any EN's, Plan B will eliminate your role in helping him in any way. Yes, EVEN if he wants out of the marriage.<p>BTW... if there's still contact with OW, consider that an affair. Once they've been involved emotionally or physically, continued contact is considered continuing the affair.