I thought I would post for those that are still in major pain.
For the last few weeks, I have began to see the light with a lot of issues. My wife walked out after 10 years with no warning or hint of a problem. There is no PA or EA with her. I believe that she is going through a MLC and she wants her space. At first, I came up with all the "solutions" for her. Of course, I was just banging my head against the wall. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] . She said that she needed to "get a life". The irony is, she now has to work three jobs to make ends meet. On the other hand, I have been having a blast. Every weekend, I am out and about in Manhatten. Usually in Greenwich Village visiting the club scene. During the week, I am active with working out, riding my bike ect. I have lost 40 pounds since Christmas and I am feeling really good about me.
Don't get me wrong; I would very much like to have my marriage work out, but I came to the realization that if she is a fair weather wife, I would rather it just go down the tubes. I think that right now, I really don't need her and I'm glad that I found out about her lack of commitment before I got old and possibly became an invalid where I really needed her to survive. Things were not bad between us. We just fell into the marriage/kids rut and I believe she just felt her youth slipping away.
About two weeks after the break-up, she went with me to the Village and we danced all night long. We really had a great time. A couple of days later, she told me that I was "just showing off". I told her that with or without her, I continue to do the same things every weekend and I am having a blast doing it.
So I guess the moral to this story is, no matter how down you feel, go out and get a life. I don't mean that as an insult; I just want to let you know that what every one says here is true. Work on you and do what you want to do to make yourself happy. Detach yourself from the situation and pursue your own interests. I have gone through the "I can't be happy with out him/her stage". The truth is, he/she doesn't want us around for whatever reason. The fact is, it may not be you at all. You may be in a realtionship with an impaired lover. There may never be anything you can do to make him/her right in the head. They have to do it on their own. If they don't think they are part of the problem, then just chalk it up to them being in denial and go on with your own life. I'm not saying to move on into another relationship. In fact, I won't until I have divorce papers, signed by a judge, in my hand. Always try to remember, BEING ALONE DOES NOT HAVE TO MEAN BEING LONELY!!
Once I came to that realization, my PMA took a major step UP!! <p>Danny
