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Never expected this...
#983521 03/09/02 01:44 AM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 6
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WhyThisNow
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WhyThisNow
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Posts: 6
Hi all... I posted this on Recovery and need some advice.<p>I know I should feel lucky to be where I am(in a true recovery). I feel kind of bad posting this, because there are many BS's who would love to be in my shoes. But this is really starting to cause problems. Any advice or encouragement would be much appreciated.<p>Thanks!<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=31&t=006175
Re: Never expected this...
#983522 03/08/02 02:22 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 661
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jamup Offline
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jamup
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It looks like you may have to look at reasons other than the personalities of the two women to make your choice. Focus on the need for a good family unit for your children etc. Focus on what you prefer about your WS over the GF. If you begin pushing your WS away because of your feelings for the XGF, you may end up damaging the progress you have made so far.
Re: Never expected this...
#983523 03/08/02 02:35 PM
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WhyThisNow
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WhyThisNow
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Thank you jamup for responding.<p>I definetly want my family back the way it was. I definetly love my FWS. <p>That's why this is driving me crazy, wondering why I can't keep XGF off my mind.<p>I am going to concentrate on all the good that my FWS does for me and keep blocking out any thoughts of XGF. I just wish I felt more secure with FWS.<p>Thanks<p>[ March 08, 2002: Message edited by: WhyThisNow ]</p>
Re: Never expected this...
#983524 03/08/02 02:49 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,206
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Alberta Offline
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Alberta
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I think its normal to have thoughts about your XGF. I think acknowledging those thoughts is okay too, as long as you then direct thoughts and actions towards your FWS. What do you mean you wish you felt more secure with FWS?
Re: Never expected this...
#983525 03/08/02 02:55 PM
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WhyThisNow
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WhyThisNow
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Thank you Alberta.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>What do you mean you wish you felt more secure with FWS?</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I wish I could trust her more. I realize it takes time and 100% trust isn't needed. But she is very capable of changing her mind about us, bottling up those feelings and then just leaving the relationship, without trying to figure out why she changed. It's happened before. We were in a false recovery months ago. Everything was going great, she wanted to get remarried, then 2 days after telling me she wanted to get remarried, she changed her mind and left the relationship. <p>Thanks

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