Well, it seems as if the other woman involved here is almost ready to give up. She's tired of waiting for him and tired of spending her nights alone. I honestly don't blame her since I have him here every night and still feel as if I am alone. She constantly calls him, emails him and questions him about how things are in our house, what is going on, and if we have or have not slept together. This other woman has another married man she is seeing that my husband is aware of. She was seeing this man before she even met my husband. This man wants her to move to where he is and as far as I am concerned, I'd like to help her pack and wish her a "safe" trip! But she still cross examines him about me and what is going on between us. My husband is reaching the point of not wanting either of us because he is tired of the tug of war. So, I've stopped tugging. When I turned the tables and said, "so go to her if you want her that bad" -- he just looks at me with that sad, dejected look, yet at the same time is unwilling to end things with her. He is waiting for either her or I to be the one to leave so he does not have to make the choice. A cowardly lion I'd say. But, if you knew my husbands past - you'd know that every single person in his life at one time or another has walked away and washed their hands of him. When he was a child his parents divorced and he felt abandoned. So far, I'm the one steady he has had in his life and the one person who has not abandoned him. Yet my patience is wearing extremely thin and I am not sure how much more of this I can take. I want this woman to stop calling my house and disrupting our home. Yet, she says adamantly that she will not stop calling our house until my husband is the one to tell her to stop. People are giving me advice to "get rid of her" but beyond something permanently drastic that I'd probably spend the rest of my life in jail for - how do you get rid of someone like that?

Apparently it is going to be up to your H to "get rid of her", but there is no reason you need to be subjected to her calls. Get caller ID and an answering machine, and you'll never have to talk to her again.<p>You can investigate whether or not you can get a restraining order as far as calls and being near you and your home are concerned, but that is probably a long shot if she's directing her stuff at your H and not you.

Just a few suggestions. <p>If you haven't already, please read the thread by Orchid that welcomes new comers and the thread entitled Marriage Buildres by WilliamJ. These should help you figure out how to do Plan A.<p>If you commit to Plan A for a while - meet WH EN's (Emotional Needs)and stop LBs(Love Busting), then your husband may see a change and in turn have the desire to really make a break from this person and return to the marriage.<p>This is something he needs to do on his own - it's like a no contact letter, and you need to help him get the strength to do it. If you force him to then he can easily return to the relationship. Maybe your husband is going through a bit of withdrawal too.<p>It's a tough situation to be in for sure, but hang in there and start working on yourself and see what happens.<p>K