This is something I am really having a hard to accepting. I am totally floored that my STBX, bring this woman when he sees his kids. My D does not even want to go anymore, he only sees them on Saturdays and its supposed to be there time. My boys go and they say they don't care if she's there but I know they don't want her with them all the time, but they accept it because they want to see there dad.<p>
I feel like sometimes they are caught in the middle, wanting to go because of him but feeling guilty that they are hurting me. I don't want them to feel that way its so unfair for kids to have to deal with all this. I support them in there decision to go. When they leave on there visit I cry all day and am very depressed can anyone give and advice on this subject?<p> Love sally

I'm not in this situation, although its possible my H takes our baby to "their" place - theyer all friends still. This possibility breaks my heart and I used to cry each time he took our baby. Now I have managed not to put myself in a position where I'm alone or without plans when it happens. <p>How long has this been happening to you?<p>My child is too young to know whos who - so i dont have any heart strings being pulled there.
I guess you need to talk more opemly with your kids about it, depending on their age, and pray with them before each instance. <p>But make sure you have something FUN to do or someone FUN to be with when theyre over there.<p>Dancer

Sally,<p>My sons are 17.5 & 10. I hate the fact that they have met OW, her family etc and they all make it look as that there is nothing wrong with the relationship and they can be one happy family. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I could have fought my STBX. I want to do so but I needed the money and he threatened me with a custody battle. That would have haremd my sons more than being the OW IMO.<p>So the boys know I hate her, I wish she was dead, etc but I have made it plain to them that is all right if they like her. That I hope they do. <p>Now my OS knows I wish they make her life miserable and they hate her guts. But she works very hard to get the boys to like her, buying OS clothes, he laughs about the bribes saying if all he has to do is be a little civil, he can do that.<p>After the 1st few months, it seems in some ways that STBX is spending more time with the boys without her. both boys prefer doing things with just their dad.<p>My YS goes most Sat mid day to Sun evening. OS goes when he wants to do so, sometimes (as i am back in school) I tell he needs to go and sometimes it is every wk, that happens when he wants something from dad.<p>I cried at 1st also but I have always been someone who likes time to their self and frankly I enjoy no one home but me. But like I said OS only goes about once a month and then sometimes he goes & YS stays here.<p>STBX & I are very felixalbe about the whole thing. We only want the best for the boys. One reason he is he knows if he makes me mad enough I could ruin his relationship with boys with just a few truths and also the OW & her X fight about everything abouth their D and he sees the harms 1st hand.<p>As long as he keeps OW away from me, and she doesn't show up at the boys stuff, we will be fine. <p>Don't know if that helps you or not but it is working for us.<p>I have set up email accounts for YS so he can email his dad whenever, and he can call. OS has his own cell phone, so he calls his dad or mainly his dad calls him & he may or may not call back.<p>Good Luck