Thank you both for replying to my post about kids meeting OW.<p>Dancer to answer your question about how long this has been going on, I would say about 3 weeks. I try to keep busy when there with him, but like I said my D won't go so her and I have special time together.<p>
Sing, Sounds like you have a pretty good plan going with visitation. This has to be the worst feeling in the world to know ther out with her. Well I do my best to deal with it, I know i have to accept it in order to move on.<p>
sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, and Thanks again for your replys.<p> Love Sally

Sally,<p>I just try not to think about it and I usually have one of the boys here or well my Os is here but out and then I am worrying about what he is doing (about time to give that old cell phone a ring). about the longest I am alone is 36 hrs, even though we have done a wk twice. The boys were ready to come home. <p>I am not as good as I sound. If the OW does anything to my sons, she be in court so fast her neck would hurt from the whiplash. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I try not to ask to many questions about what goes on in dad's house.<p>my OS recently asked why I didn't go to court to keep OW away from them, I told him I needed the money to much. couldn't tell him his dad threaten me with a major custody battle, maijly saying I wasn't a fit parent. I don't think my STBX would have done it but I wasn't going to take the chance. My OS already knew about OW & while YS, 10, I couldn't keep him away from his dad. :sad:<p>
it does get better with time. <p>hang in there. you can do it and be the winner in this whole ugly mess.

Any time...3 weeks is early days...<p>Try not to find out anything about wats going on over THERE at all...if you can, talk to your children about this too, or just dont take any interest in wat they say about it...in time I guess they'll stop talking to you about it. Sometimes I want to ask everything thats going on, even snoop and checkup to see if H really is home or where he should be, but I dont. Its a waste of my precious energy and time and It would probably kill me if I found out lies or hurts...Ive had enough to last a lifetime...<p>Hope today is a bright day for you...arent children such a huge blessing from God...their little hands in yours...those looks of love...the cries for a mothers comfort...yours sound like they adore you, keep up the awesome effort, they'll cherish you for ever.<p>Dancer

My boys came home around 11:30 pm, they said Dad has a hotel room until mar.15. he gets his apartment then. So he told me that they watched movies with him and OW and went out to dinner. I never askes my son what they did today he just felt like he had to tell me. I really would rather not know it hurts to much. I feel sometimes this is harder to accept than the affair. I sure hope it gets easier in time, I am feeling very depressed and worthless tonight I hope tommorrow brings better feelings. Thanks again.<p>
Love sally

Sad Sally<p>I cant believe wat Ive just found out/had confirmed after posting 2 u on this topic...<p>i had a feeling, like i said, that H was taking my son to their place (Ow and family, inc her H) but a couple of hours ago it was all confirmed. I knew it anyway. H told me. Its been a secret for a while I reakon.<p>So, how did I handle it? Good and bad...maybe more bad, and I feel ashamed after giving u advice and all.<p>First I told H I was very disappointed in him (LB) and that Id let them know how dissappointed I am in them too - her H and I discussed how this possibilty would kill me if it ever happened. he has spinelessly let it happen. another story.<p>then i told h to take son 2 his brothers 4 me 2 pick up as i was too angry to see him. this was an ok move.<p>then i rang someone to vent my shock...ok move<p>then i messaged her h to tell him i'm disappointed. probably not a good move. i havent contacted him for months now although so many times i wanted to to say how angry i am at him for letting my wh go over there all the time. but i held on to my dignity. <p>now i want so desperately to message her...to ask if theres anything else of mine she wants, not that theres much left...as she has moved here in next suburb after i moved here, had my h sexually, still has him emotionally, inhabits what i thought was my safe place, and now gets to cuddle my son...at her place...<p>i'm sorry, but it all makes me feel so physically sick...i understand y u r so sad sally, i thought i did b4, but this is definate to me now. <p>keep me accountable to not doing anything silly.<p>Dancer

Dancer, I am sorry for the pain of finding out this info. I know it hurts. I feel like my world is tumbling down. I would have let my WH know how I felt also I don't think thats wrong. I can't believe that he took your son to OW family with her H, I would Def. blow my stack, there must be something you can do legally that's a very bad atmosphere for your son.<p>
I think you have every right to be as angry as you are. I'm sorry I hope I am not upsetting you more, it's just that pisses me off so much. My thoughts are with you.<p> Love Sally