Seahorse,<p>we care.
We have been there.
It gets better, not perfect, but better. Please hang on.

Seahorse,
I know how you feel I truely do. I have scars on my wrist to prove it, please trust me it feels like the whole world is colapsing, but it isnt! There are lots of things YOU can control OTHER than that. You did not fail ANYONE or anything. Please if you need someone to talk to please talk to us or even a neighbor if you need to. Call your family, or if not them or you cant talk to a friend about it, call the suicide hotline. If you are in the US it is tollfree: 1-800-784-2433 Give them a try. They can help you get your head straight if feel you are barely holding on. Sometimes it is nice to hear a person's voice. <p>Your friend,
HI<p>hangingin_mb@yahoo.com<p>[ March 11, 2002: Message edited by: HangingIn ]</p>

You haven't done anything wrong. You tried. That is all you can do. <p>Now it is time to take care of yourself. Please take care of yourself.<p>Elizabeth

Seahorse,<p>Please listen to everyone. You deserve more than this. Look at all these people who have recovered. I felt the same way that you did when I found out -- start taking the anti-depressants, they really help with the roller-coaster. After 3 weeks they are finally kicking in for me.<p>Just remember that everyone here cares. Breath and pray. Call family and friends -- they love you and want the best for you.

Oh Seahorse -- I have been following your story -- we have roughly the same d-day. I know you are feeling incredible pain. I am there too. But I can tell you from reading all of your posts that you are a smart and kind person that will be capable of love again. Please do not think that you are any less than you are -- we are wives who thought we were loved and respected and we found one day that we weren't living a dream, but a nightmare.<p>I too have struggled with depression and rage and a range of emotions I'm not even sure I could describe. What I try to remember are the people that I do love and that I know care for me. Is there any friend or family that can come support you? I didn't think so, but once I started sharing my pain, I was surpised at the response from the people who care about me. Whenever I am truly down, I try and remember my parents and how much they love me. <p>Take care. Keep posting.

Seahorse,<p>Do not put yourself down because you were a good person and loved your H. I know your feeling used and you have been. All the wonderful things you have done for him and all the things you have put up with FROM him. You feel like your self respect is gone.<p>That's not how it should be. YOu are a wonderful caring person that was doing things for the person she loved. You were trying to show your H. How much you cared. Just because he is an idiot and cant see you for the good person you are is no reason to look down upon yourself. I know I have been there. He is the one with the problem. He is the one who cant remain faithful. It sounds like to me he has some issues himself about his self worth and by going out and having A with these other people is in a way an ego boost for him.<p>Do not let his issues become yours. You are the strong one. You have remained faithful and tried to show your H the love that you can offer him. Just because you reached your limit on how much crap you can take is no reflection on you. COntinue to be strong. I know its hard but he isn't worth your dying over. Please post and let us know how you are doing.<p>
Music

You will come out of this ok. But you have to take it one minute and one day at a time. You made it through the night now make it through today. You are not a failure. Your h failed you not the other way around. Please get some help. <p>When I felt like you, I also went on antidepressants, but I spoke to a counselor. If you dont have a car, call a friend, call a hotline, call anyone. You can make it through.<p>I am praying for you!!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Seahorse}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I have also been reading your story, and I feel deeply for your pain.<p>Please remember that there is nothing and no one out there that is worth your life, even with the love that you once had. He has taken all you had to give and squandered it, so it is time now for you to take charge of your life, as hard as it may be, and to be strong and seek a better future for yourself.<p>I did a websearch, here are some help lines for Australia, I am not sure how up to date they are, but please, dearheart use them before you consider hurting yourself......
Crisis Line 9329 0300
Lifeline 13 1114 <p>Really, in time the pain will lessen, but only if you are here to make sure it shall, if you are not here, then the pain will go on, not just for you but for all those who have loved and cared for you over the years.... and their guilt will live with them forever, for not helping you when they could, even if they couldn't.... sorry if that did not make sense, but I get sooo scared when I read posts like yours and it hurts me to think that you could actually do yourself harm.<p>Please check back in, and remember you are worth sooooooo much more,
Respectfully,

Hi,<p>I have talked to Seahorse, and she is coping......still sad, but hopefully getting there.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

Dear Seahorse,
I'm sorry that your husband is just not in his right mind right now. He DID love you. He is just not the man you married right now. He probably needs to just go figure out what he wants to do with his life rather than to be putting your health at risk with his risky behavior.<p>You are going to make it through this! I'm praying for you and for your strength. Keep the faith and don't let go! Don't give up on yourself!

I'm just posting to let you know I'm still here. I'm totally shattered, and even breathing is an effort.<p>I told my dad the truth yesterday. I went to my doc and got blood tests done. He's put me on a community care plan which will include counselling and seeing a psych. He was a very caring doctor.<p>I'm in so much pain, I don't know what else to say. Although I still care for him, there's no love left. The person I married would not have done this to me, would never have threatened to punch me, would never have lied about our relationship.He has made me feel lower than trash. <p>I'll post when I can. You are all very good people, I just don't feel like I can say that about myself right now. I want to get through this, but I feel very sorry for myself right now, very hurt. I don't want to feel like this forever but right now, its the only way I can feel. <p>Liz

Thanks for posting, Liz - we will not abandon you.<p>I wish I could convince you that you have no reason to feel shame or bad about yourself. But I know this is normal and that you'll overcome it. Please don't hesitate to lean on us. You can e-mail me personally if you want at DCScandals@yahoo.com<p>Dave

Seahorse,<p>Unfortuntely, the pain is part of healing, without it you wouldn't move forward. It does get easier, but it goes slow. Let yourself grieve, and take good care of yourself. It's very important, you're very important. <p>Most of us have been where you are, I don't know if that helps you right now. Just know we're here for you when you're ready.<p>Best,
Jo

Seahorse,<p>I am glad you went to the doctor...did you get those anti-d's revised?<p>Call me anytime before Sunday, if you need to chat.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky