Well, I think things are getting better. Last we had a good week last week. We didn't discuss our marriage much but WW did say that we are working on it. That is different from 2 weeks ago when she said that she wasn't going to counseling anymore and if I loved her I would let her go. We also went to church last night. That was really nice [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] This too was a change as we didn't go the past 2 Sundays because she said that she didn't want to pretend to be a happy family when we are not. She did say right before church that she didn't want to get my hopes up that she was going to church because the kids would like that. She said that we still have alot to work on. At first this comment hurt and I took it wrong, but at second glance I noticed the words "we have alot to work on." That is a good sign right? We are going to counseling now every 2 weeks instead of every week. She said that she couldn't accomodate every week because she doesn't want to let her boss know what is going on. Is this normal? Should I be concerned about her not wanting anyone to know we are having problems? We are scheduled to go this Thursday. It is really hard to be positive about my plan A. I keep supporting her and trying my best to be sure her EN are met and still get little to nothing in return. I often wonder is it really working?

Things don't happen on our timeframes. You want to know if your Plan A is working? From the sound of your post you are getting some positive feedback. She said you have some things to work on. She is right. That is a step in the right direction. Look for the little things. This is not going to be better overnight. Concentrate on the small steps and keep going forward.

I think it is natural not to want others to know your personal problems. I'm the BS and I don't want EVERYONE to know. I carefully chose my confidantes. The last think me or my WH need is a lot of nosey people asking us how things are going. (a constant reminder of the pain in our lives.) I hope you have a good counselor. We went to see a minister just once, but the things he talked with us about have stuck with us and have been extremely helpful through the hard times. One thing he told me was to always remember that my WH could have left at any time. However, he chose to come back to me. That always brings me a level of comfort. As long as WW is there, take comfort in it. Chains are not holding her there, she's still there because at least for now she chooses to be.

Not a bad day yesterday. I asked WW if she can at least tell me if we are going in the right direction...all be it baby steps...are we going in the right direction. I happened to be going to the bank and she said we cannot discuss that in a 2 minute conversation...she said we would tallk about it when I returned. We never talked about it last night. It seems that she doesn't want to confirm either way how she feels we are doing. When and if she does (only when I ask) she just says we are working on it. She is still shying away from any affection and still absolutely no desire for sex. When will this desire return? I have printed the EN and LB questionnaires. How do I go about asking her to fill them out? Again, when I bring up us or our marriage it seems that she shuts down and doesn't want to discuss it. I love my wife so much and I want us to make it....but it is just getting harder and harder to keep hoping, praying, and trying to meet her every EN with little or nothing in return.