Hi,<p>I was on plan B for 3 months. H went mad hearing about my plans to move 200kms away. Thanks for all the support here, I made a decision to move closer. H lives only 7kms away now. He has been working in his new business for 3 weeks soon and is coming around a lot. I still keep him sort of at arms lenght. Hardly ever initiate contact. Let him do all the running around now...
He's very interested, I can tell, I see it in his eyes, how they light up every time he sees me and the kids!!! But because of all the strenght I gained on the plan B, I am too cautious to let him come close. I plan A him, I don't talk about our marriage, future, OW etc. I just enjoy the attention, see where it goes..very slowly. Have to say things look pretty good. It's getting close to 2 year mark since the d-day!! I have counted on that.
Hope this encourages some of you. My H was SO VERY sure it was over between us...
You never know.

BearsinForrest,<p>Thats really encouraging to hear what is going on right now. That's a great description, could see it in his eyes.....nice<p> There was a post recently (CarolK???) about keeping her WH at a distance. She worked with a coach & the whole story is beautiful. <p>I understand wanting to keep the distance. They seem to want it more when they have to work for it. Keep posting & let us know what happens.<p> [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Bears-<p>Thanx for the post. I will remember what you have said (2 years since DDay?, will I make that?). Maybe this is what I need to give me hope and strength. I have been wondering if things will work out for me and WS, and then you come along and show me that they just might.<p>Once again, thanx.

Bear,<p>Good for you!! 2 years you say? Have heard that before,too. Sounds like you did a good plan B, and have taken the time to work on yourself and obviously learned some self-control and patience.<p>Please do keep us posted, as to your progress.<p>Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks everyone.<p>WGTT,
Yes I did read CarolKs story and it was very helpful. You really need to be sure to about the WS's love. Often they need the be the one doing the pursuing. I don't mean playing hard to get, but just keep things in balance. I am available sometimes, but I'm not running around H. He called me tonight and suggested a drink at his place.. Last night he was here for a dinner.The kids need an early night to bed, so I turned the offer down. Then he talked about having a dinner with us on Sat night, said that's probably a better idea...<p>lhs,
If someone had told me when all this started in June 2000 it could take 2 years, I would have thought NO way I am going to hang around. It's quite often mentioned here on the boards it can take up to 6 months-2 years for the A to die it's natural death. In any realtionship after 2 years the in love feelings start to decline anyway...
The As are often based on such a shaky ground, not much chances for survival. Hang in there...Happy to hear this gave you hope.<p>daybreak,
I would say I did a good plan B. Not perfect, but good.A couple of slips here and there, but got quickly straightened up by Resilient(Thanks Jo!!)and other MBers.I went through a major withdrawal and felt depressed. But I came to accept the M was over and all the desperation of needing to have H back disappeared. I know now I'll be OK even without him, it's such a relief. Somehow it has made me look more attractive in Hs eyes!!! Plan B really saved me and it was worth going through it.
It was for me , not a game to get H back.