The dreaded day. I had been hoping this day would not arrive. That somehow I would wake up to find the world had skipped it all together. But alas, none of us can avoid it. I can't look at the number twelve without being triggered. And now I finally have to go through this d-day anniversary. The day my world changed. The day my old marriage ended. The day that fear entered my life. I hate not only the 12th but I also cannot stand the whole month of March. Last night I thought I would be fine today. But this morning I find that I am very sad indeed. I should not be sad right now. Did I mention that yesterday I recieved, in the mail(snail mail no less),a contract from the one publisher I mentioned? Well, I did. This should be such a time of joy for me. A contract for an unwritten book, sight unseen? Instead of joy I am sad. What the hell is up with me? Well, I am going to take a couple sleeping pills and go to bed. Sleep through the rest of this day.<p> jd

JD,
I feel for you..Ddays are lousy, but just an observation...if it wasn't for this..would you have the contract?<p>That is how I got thru my Dday..I had to quit dwelling on the negs and look at the positive changes that had occurred..I had to find something that had changed for the better..mostly me, him and us.<p>Try to concentrate on the things that are better.
T

Quote of the day in my e-mail: Yesterday is memories, and tomorrow is today's dreams.<p>{{{{{{{{JD}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>I know this day is hard for you. As my d-day anniversary is approaching, I'm thinking more and more about things I thought I had put behind me.<p>Get some rest, k? But then wake-up, pick-up, and crack a smile at the blessings and joys around you.<p>We're here for ya. Hang in there. You're a special guy, and you deserve plenty of happiness, peace and joy. Go find it.

Thanks Twyla,<p> You are right of course. Just quite a good deal harder to appreciate any positives today. <p> As for the contract. The language of it is quite a bit over my head right now. It goes into so many details. Worldwide distribution rights, library of congress filings, copyright language, promotion and signings, Fees and royalties, agents, media interviews, etc etc. <p> This during this month? For a concept? An unwritten manuscript from someone who has never written anything more than college essays? <p> Overwhelming!<p> jd

My thought on a bad day...<p>A bad day just lasts 24 hours and at the end of that we are given a brand new day, one that may not look as dark.( unless you live in the Pacific NW, where it always seems dark)<p>
Rejoice in your book contract, thats something to be proud of [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>
Peace!

Thanks D,<p> Yes. Rest is good. Thank you Dear Lady, for your always kind words.<p> jd

jd, I am so sorry. I don't know what to say to help but may I suggest that you get out of the house. Go do something with the kids or horses. Do what SEM does... he like to go shooting. It's a great stress reliever. Go plinking in the hills if there arn't any shooting ranges around. <p>Maybe you can start on other people's stories on your book. Write down how you feel & Hang it there.

Think of this as one year past the day you began to be a better you. <p>My one year anniversary of d-day was Saturday. Funny thing is that I thought of it on Friday, but on Saturday it did not even hit me until late in the evening somewhere around 11:30 and by then it was almost over. Guess I was lucky.<p>Hang in there, the day is almost over.

{{{{{{JD}}}}}}},<p>By now it's almost over. I hope it's turned out to be better than you expected. You're allowed at least one day (and this would be it) to reflect and feel sad, but tomorrow is a new day and you have so much to feel joy about. I loved your horses, btw, and way to go! on the contract. When you're doing the talk show circuits, we'll all be here posting about how we "knew you when" [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You can do this!
AB

Today in 1969, in music history, Paul McCartney wed Linda (sorry, can't remember her maiden name). And as you probably know, she passed away a few years ago.<p>I would bet that Paul would do anything to be in your shoes right now. To at least have that chance to make things better.<p>Perhaps, in a VERY twisted sort of way, you can take some comfort in that? The fact that YOU have that chance on this very day.<p>I don't know if this helps you any. All I know is that when I'm down, I gain comfort in knowing others are down too. I am so sorry that you are hurting so much today. Take care of yourself.<p>Karen

Well here it is, and now its going going gone. Your right its a DDay. But its the last day that you are ever going to be taken by suprise like this again. We (I) have become more aware of things around me. We (I) see things in a brighter light, and for what they are. The wool of life doesn't quite get the chance to be pulled over my eyes. Call it post battle awareness, gun shy, looking before you leap. <p>You may not like being where your at today, but I don't think that you'll ever be where you were at this day a year ago. Your wiser, friendlier, not such an [censored] anymore [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] and your more compassionate, and just an all around better guy. If not for anyone other than you, JD, this is a step for you. <p>Did I mention now you have to start counting in years [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Okay, maybe that's depressing, but until you reach two years you can just say, "I've been doing this a year". Or you can say I've been doing this 2 years less than H2Y [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

JD dday (and all its various "anniversaries") are a figment of the imagination of those who contemplate them. There is no significance in the day or the yearly march around the sun....the universe (and your position in it) changed instantly from the point of your dday on....we are millions of miles from the point in space which represents your dday....nor do we exist as a series of years, we exist as a discrete block of time...one block.... our various divisions of time have nothing to do with who we are, or what we should feel. I do recognize the notion of triggers, and the psycholgical repercussions....what I do not understand is though we might "celebrate" happy events....why do we do the same with unhappy events....anyways, just my lame attempt to help.