Hello,
I a'm trying to find out some things on my H and what all he is into on my computer. I noticed he has his very own address book, but only thing that was in there was his name, our phone # [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] and our address where we live now. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] Why in the world would he have a seperate address book with our info in it like that, when we allready had a address book together? Is there more i can find out about his address book, meaning more inf he might of placed some where else. Thanks Cathy

I am guessing you are wondering about this because you have been betrayed in some way, shape or form by your H. Some marriagebuilders have used some sort of secret PC recording software to find out what your spouse is doing online. Some programs have limited capabilities or let your spouse know that they are there. Some of the programs used by marriagebuliders here include Spector, eBlaster, Iopus, KeyKey and Big Brother.<p>I have used Spector and eBlaster. My H had a number of internet affairs and was viewing porn, having phone sex and the list goes on. I was worried about my H viewing porn and once I did some heavy duty snooping, I found out it was more than just porn. He also told me I was crazy, he denied what he was doing. <p>I ended up having to print up the cold hard truth from the Spector software I installed on the computer. I monitored our home phone bills for months and saw nothing unusual. Then one day, when I was at the grocery store, I noticed some phone cards for sale and a light bulb went off in my head. I did some snooping in my H's wallet and found a phone card and the phone numbers for some OW he was having phone sex with. I had thought that things were getting better between us and that the infidelity was no more. I was wrong. It seems that when I was working nights, he was calling these OW using the phone card. I found this out by contacting the company for the dates and times the card was last used and how many minutes were used and left on the card. <p>I then confronted him about it. He of course knew that I had been snooping but I felt it was necessary for me to snoop when your spouse is doing something that threatens the well being of your family and your marriage on a repeated basis.<p>Here are some resources for you...<p>There is a recorded radio show here at marriage builders where Dr Harley talks with a man whose wife is having an online affair..here's the link. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ramfiles/Radio1a.ram<p>I have used Spector Pro and I love it. It is very easy to set up and run in the background without detection. Spector Pro is the newest version and it automatically takes hundreds of snapshots every hour. It is sold by SpectorSoft.<p>Spector Pro also includes TRUE email capture (SMTP and web-based email), TRUE chat and instant messenger capture, and a key logger. Spector Pro is the only program available that will capture web-based email such as Yahoo mail, Hotmail, Excite mail and AOL web based email.<p>Spector works by taking a snapshot of whatever is on the computer screen and saves it away in a hidden location on your computer's hard drive. A few seconds later, Spector takes another picture. In fact, Spector can automatically take a picture of your computer screen as frequently as once per second.<p>You get recordings of all chat conversations, instant messages, e-mails typed and read, all web sites visited, all programs/applications run, all keystrokes typed - EVERYTHING they do on the computer and on the Internet. You can come back to the computer a few minutes, a few hours, a few days or weeks later and SEE EXACTLY what they were doing, because Spector has recorded it.<p>Spector Pro costs $99.95 and is available for immediate download. Spector Pro is fully compatible with all versions of Windows since Windows 95, including Windows XP. <p>I know of no other spy software for Macs but Spector. You may not have a Mac but finding spy software for Mac users has been a past problem for some BS.<p>Anyway, start your investigation right there on your PC at home. My H thought he was pretty slick and sneaky, until I started naming off some of his online girlfriends and asking him about the significance of his relationship with each of them. The look on his face was priceless. I wish, though, I had never had to see that face. I wish he had never strayed.<p>If you find it's an affair, I would also recommend reading "Surviving an Affair". In retrospect, I'm glad I discovered the truth so that we can now recover from his affairs and rebuild our marriage.<p>There is a support group at YAHOO that you are welcome to join if you think you would find it helpful...here's the URL>>><p>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/onlineinfidelity/<p>Good Luck,<p>Bluebird

Needless to say, there's also an ongoing arms race between spy software and anti-spy software, just as there is between new viruses and virus detection software. For every nuclear missile, sooner or later there's a Star Wars defense. Current anti-spy software can at least detect spy software, and optionally disable it. How far it can do this without making the disabling obvious, or as a next step, feed actual disinformation to the spy software, remains to be determined. Clearly there's great scope for further escalation of this war, from options to send messages saying "I know you're spying on me" all the way to spy and anti-spy programs that both engage in combat in a mutual attempt to disable or outfox one another. Stay tuned for developments!