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- and he kind of gets all worried and embaressed when he can't do the things he feels he should. SO what happens is that ( unlike me ) instead of doing a lot of personal things that are nice but don't cost money ( and that I would probably appreciate even more ) he dwells in the fact that he can't buy things and doesn't do anything. Kind of pretends it's not happening ( like what he did with the affair, yes... so perceptive of you to making the link