Well it has been about two weeks since I have been able to post on here. Unfortunately we had a ski trip planned for last week where both my wife (WS), myself and one of my friends went on. It was very akward since my wife has been sleeping in the spare bedroom for awhile now. At the condo we had to share the same room because it was only a one bedroom with a pull out couch. The week was tense and my wife wasn't too friendly towards me. She made a lot of comments about how many "cute" guys there were up there skiing. I took this for the first three or so times she said it. But later I told her that was a rude comment to say that many times in front of me. Plus I know how she is thinking. This "I want to have my freedom B.S."
There was no relationship talk and we just skied. When we were sitting in the airport to come back home she says now what. I say now what, what? She said what are we going to do about the relationship. I told her if she is waiting for me to say it is just ok with me for her to walk away, well she wasn't going to hear it. Then she said, well I still feel the same way I. I asked her what does she want from me. She got frustrated with the conversation then said I don't want to talk about that any more. She offended me again during this brief talk so I just got up and walked away. I took about a 20 minute walk and I just saw her on the plane. There was no talking between us on the flight. Or the ride home from the airport. I was upset with her again for her actions once again in life.
Well the next day we got back my wife went to see the cousenlor. My wife told me later that day that the counselor said why don't you file for a divorce if you still feel the same way. My wife told me that she told the counselor she isn't ready to file for a divorce. That she needs some time to figure some things out and the seperation thing within the same house was helping her out.
So can anyone give me their opinion on where my wife is at? Is she thinking now that a divorce is not the best thing? Is she eating her cake right now with the seperation situation between us that she doesn't want to rock the boat? Is she trying to buy time to make things better with her parents? Her parents are on my side and she doesn't like that. My wife feels everyone is making decisions in her life for her. Well a little reminder to her, she choose to get involved with someone else.
I need someone's opinion/advice. I am not sure where I am coming from or where I am going to. I just don't want to be a door mat if she is trying to resolve everything with everyone else but me.
Thanks...

well, confused...if your W is having an emotional affair it is because she isnt getting what she wants from you. She is being honest with you and she wants you to talk to her about how you are feeling...do you miss her? do you want her back? why is she with this other guy?
and if everyone is on your side she may feel that no one cares about how she is feeling. When my life fell apart and i started hating myself for being lost and alone in my marriage and i had a full on affair i turned to him for help, not the throw it in his face but to say look...this is what is happening...we must figure out why and stop it cause i am married to you and i hate myself right now. he turned away from me leaving me feeling more alone and more hurt...so i tried to leave him but my parents told me that they wanted me to work things out with him so they made me stay...I had no where to go...and i felt i had no one to understand me because i cheated on my husband and no one understood why...i posted on this site because Harley says that if a wife cheats it is because her needs arent being met and he understood me...for the first time, i had someone saying , that wasnt right but i understand...if you want to save your marriage you have to really talk to your wife and let her know that you care about what is making her unhappy enough to cheat and also tell her that you miss her and how you feel...negative and positive...sounds to me like maybe you are still in the anger phase and not ready to see her side of this?? i dont know, just guessing...
I hope i helped, cause i do want to...sorry if i am way off...
Cathy

njrgopittsonlygirl,
Well I have aknowledged to my wife that I can meet her EN's. But the problem is my wife is saying it is too late for everything. Overtime my and my wife's EN's changed and we didn't let each other know what our new EN's might of been. My wife did agree that the communication between us broke down and that was a big problem. We got into a ground hog day thing with our lifes. My wife is very unhappy in life and she doesn't know why. So she is thinking it is because of me and the marriage. So my wife is trying to change her life around by doing a 180. The guy she did have an affair with was the complete opposite of me. He didn't care about his job. He didn't give a crap and just went out and partied. Yeah, that is fun for awhile but sooner or later all of our batteries run low on the parting aspect.
Bottom line is I do care and show it to my wife. Would I still be here trying to support the marriage if I didn't care? I have made it clear that I am hurt by what she has done but I want to move on and make things better for the future. At this point I can't fix the marriage by myself. My wife has to try also which she hasn't done to this point.