O.K. So I don't know if I messed up or not but it sure feels like it.
I am still in limbo and I can't believe it!!!
I spoke with H tonight, I told him that I was tired of the way that he was treating me and his D. I said that I wanted and needed answers.
I asked if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with OW...if so tell me. "I don't know that"
Why aren't you home or willing to come home to work on the marriage. "I don't know"
Why are you trying so hard to hate us? "I don't have to try hard"
If you hate us why are you stringing this thing along? "It would be alot easier if I DID hate you"
Where do we go from here? "Fine we will sell the house and get a divorce"
If that is what you really want. "No, but that is the answer you are looking for isn't it?"
No, you know what I am looking for. "Why isn't just staying in the house as long as my checks still go to you not enough until I figure this out?"
Well if you aren't going to come home what is the point?
"Who said I wasn't coming home...I can't tell the future, I don't know what tomorrow will bring"
I told him that I was tired of being in this marriage alone, that I felt like he was punishing me for what I did to him, and that if he treated anyone else in his life this horribly would they be still loving him, I don't think so! God knows why I still love you. You need to find out why you aren't willing, you need to find a way to be willing if you can't come up with a reason why or you need to decide you won't ever be willing and end this. I have the papers ready for you to sign to sell the house and the Lawyer is typing up the final draft of a legal seperation...where do we go from here?
"I will try hard to find out why I am not willing or am willing"
Now did that conversation go in circles or what? I wanted to get answers and now I am MORE confused than BEFORE the conversation!!! ARRRRRGGGG!!!