I have just found this forum and need any advice you can give me. I have reason to believe my husband is cheating on me. I have to know. I have bought a phone recorder and want to hide it in the attic. Does anyone know how to do this? I am totally lost. Is there a jack already up there? Also he is going out of town soon and I am going to get keys of his office made for me and plan to go to his office during this time and snoop. There is no alarm system there and I know if someone catches me I can say I am looking for the checkbook, etc. Please give me any good or bad advice about this. Wehave 2 small kids and I have to know. Thanks.

Lonely,<p>If u suspect u may be right. I suspected and found out. Please be prepared for the worst. Snoop in his office by all means, you have EVERY right to know what is going on in his life, he is YOUR husband.<p>There is spy software for computers if ur husband uses them. Check www.spectorsoft.com - also there are tracking devices you can use on his car. Not sure how to get them but there are posters here that know. Also u can consider a PI, while expensive they do provide tangible proof in the form of photos, taped phone calls, itineraries on his activity, e.t.c...<p>Please do not react immediately - if the case is that you find out something is going on. Let the evidence compile, give him rope to hang himself - it will show u what he is capable of and it will give you a template on his pattern of behaviour that you can fall back on.<p>Also, start a journal now, write down what he says, what he does, where he goes, everything.<p>Had I not done this I would have thought my wife had one affair that happened only once - since I have discovered another ONS (one night stand) and that she is a completely different person when I am not with her. It is upsetting as hell but at least I have relief finally knowing who I professed to love. <p>Hang in there, we will be here for you so keep posting. Also look over the site because Dr Harley has some great advise and programs on surviving this - if your suspiscions prove true. I hope they are not - but find out.

Be careful about putting any kind of monitoring software on any computer at this work unless you are an owner of the company.

Sorry about your plight, Lonely.<p>Some advice from someone recently in your position:<p>1/ If you think he's playing away you know all you need to know as far as your actions are concerned. You should not try to shame him or make him feel guilty, let him see that in his own time. If you want to keep him you must concentrate on making home the safe place to return to. <p>2/ When you get proof you are likely to react in ways you will come to regret. The pain is intolerable, emotions run high and you may feel the need to do something instantly. Resist it, please. Do not beg and plead or LB. Post here to get advice from people who've made all the mistakes in the same situations.<p>3/ Somehow you have to recover your resources and build your strength for a real struggle. This is hard but absolutely essential. I believe you need to make it your number 1 priority. In particular it is best done before confronting your H about any A that may be going on. You need to be a bit fuller in your description of your situation and feelings to get the maximum support from this board. There's a lot of good advice available.