My father always said "don't spit into the wind because it will always hit you in the face". I should have listened. <p>Things have been going great with H and I. My 180 seems to be working and he has really been trying. He calls from work just to say hello and ask how my day is. We are spending time together and talking more than we used to. I finally feel some happiness returning. So I saw OW yesterday and I grabbed my H's hand and smiled at her. He didn't see her but she saw us and turned bright red and left the store. This was my spit into the wind.<p>Today I got a call from a private investigator hired by her H and he wants to meet with me. I refused. When my H called I told him about what had happened and he got upset and said he was going to tell OW. And he actually sounded mad at ME. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I don't know what I could have done differently and I'm glad her H is checking up on her. He's been walked on too and I actually feel sorry for him.<p>So another lesson in life learned the hard way.<p>[ March 18, 2002: Message edited by: TinyDancer ]</p>

Confused....mad at you? why?
and why do you think the PI wanted to meet with you?

He's mad at me because I was the one who told him is my best guess. He knows what he (they) did and I'm sure he's not thrilled to have a PI on his tail.
The PI said that I may be able to give him information regarding my H and the OW. He stated that he was "hired by Mr. OW and was given my name by him".
I hate this whole situation. I feel like my life is becomming a soap opera and it sucks.

Ya, I don't get why he's mad at YOU - maybe he's just mad and you happened to receive it - who knows. He should be GLAD you refused to see the darn PI. Hopefully he'll cool down soon....
sheesh...

As a BS, I think I would have met with the PI, and answered his questions purely with fact, not speculation. If Mr. OW is gathering this type of information, I'd bet my last dollar it's to solidify a divorce.<p>Your H calling the OW is contact. It shows a desire to protect her interests. I'd ask why he felt obligated to warn her.<p>I can relate to the soap opera. I swear my marriage could be four episodes of The Jerry Springer Show.

Unfortunately my H doesn't need to call her. He only needs to walk 10 steps to her desk to speak to her.<p>When he came home he explained to me that he wasn't mad at me but at himself and the OW. He said he's tired of me being upset by what he has caused and he apologized over and over. He said he wasn't warning her but telling her to back off.<p>I have no wish to meet with a PI hired by her H. We live in a no fault divorce state. If he wants to divorce her all it takes is court costs, filing fees and 60 days.

TinyDancer,<p>What does he mean when he said he wanted the OW to "back off?" Back off of what? What is she doing that she needs to back off from?<p>And I do find it more than alarming that he warned the OW. That says that he is worried about her and wants to help her hide things from her H.<p>And I think, for me, I would want to help the OWH get to the truth by helping the PI. It is pretty sad that he has to go to those lengths to find the truth because information that he rightfully should have, is being wrongfully withheld from him. Why wouldn't you want to help him?

Almost everything I know I learned from the OW's H. He welcomed her back with open arms and a red mustang convertible. He pretended nothing happened and even had the nerve to blame me for "not taking care of my man". I feel sorry for him and I hope he is checking up on her but I'm not so sure he is.<p>We attended a work dinner party a few weeks ago and I felt so sorry for him. His wife made a pathetic fool of herself and him. There is nothing I can tell any PI that her H doesn't already know.<p>As far as my H warning her and the bit about backing off. I (we) think a lot of the odd things that have been happening here are due to the OW. H received a coupon for Viagra in the mail, I was the recipient of condoms, sexual aide catalogs, etc. I get email ads from phone sex services among other things and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if OW had someone pose as a PI to see what I know. I asked the PI for his number to call him back and he refused. How could that be legitimate?<p>I'm not refusing to see what's in front of my face. I have been through so much with my H in the past 9 months since d-day and I know he's not protecting her. He has even finally agreed to see a MC. I won't say we have recovered because we aren't even close but we are headed that way and I try hard not to gloat and I wish I hadn't this time.