I am scared, and shaky and my blood is starting to boil... I have only lb'd once so far...<p>about this!<p>My H is looking for a roommate for the house he and ow rented... he and ow have not seen each other since first week in feb, and he claims it is over.<p>I found about 6 girls numbers programed into h's cellphone last week... I wrote them all done, but have done nothing about it... Well, I did tell H I knew he was talking to other girls to... and he confessed to having some girls numbers he had mostly met at bars. My H plays in dart leagues now and goes to bars.... now.<p>Anyhow... he is starting to run out of his severance pay and is now living on what is lef t of that, and unemployment.<p>He has an ad in the paper for a roommate... this is my big issue... MALE OR FEMALE.<p>I told him on the phone tongiht... if he rents room to female that this is the straw that breaks the camels back, and that I will file for d, and tgat there is no chance of things getting worked out for us...<p>Up until tonight.. H was ok with counseling and going to start going back... but saying his focus for now is getting a roommate and a job... he lost his job in nov. and has been unemployed since then...<p>OK, what else... ? Things were going better before tongith... as I was doing some 180 action and acting kind of like I do not care... and that was drawing him closer.... I actually am starting to care less... and just when I thought I was getting over getting SOOOO upset over him...he pulls this stunt.<p>Am I overreacting?<p>I really feel that this is just another slap in the face I can't handle.<p>Thanks, H

Sounds like you've made the same mistake that I did. It is so easy to slip when things start going as you want them to. <p>I'm trying to get back to my 180 somehow and turm things back around again. It's hard to try something new when I've already tryed a few things. My fault for not sticking to the 180 long enough.
Is this something you can do?

thanks, boy did I backslide.. but I can still turn back on the 180, I am sooo mad at H... I guess I need to get madder, that will be when I can do it... sad is madder I get at him , I want to FIX it, and make him treat me right... it's not happening is it? I am feeling so out of control, but I have to let go and let God... let him make his mistakes... <p>I told him earlier that I would not even consider working things out if he moves in with a female roommate... why am I so worried? He is not the man I married anymore? Why do I want him back sooo bad???<p>It is just terrible to have someone who you love so much treat you like this.<p>Any advice friends?<p>I really hope I can do this 180 stuff... it is sooo hard... I really was fine... not caring, but then I find out about MORE of this stuff... and yes, I go nuts!!!<p>I am so wanting to talk to him... and I have called and left 2 messages, of course... he is not answering or calling me back.. now that he is holding the "POWER"/<p>THanks, H

Don't give him that kind of power. Just try to live your life and pretend that he doesn't exist.<p>I know you love him but what if you just played a trick on your mind and told yourself that he doesn't exist!<p>It seems like that is how he treats you?! Not saying that it's an eye for an eye, but what if, just what IF you did get a life of your own without him? Could he handle that? I doubt it. I bet HE would be the one doing a 180 then.<p>Hang in there with your Plan A/Plan B. Be strong and be good to YOU! If he is not treating you with respect, treat yourself with respect and dignity.

That is, "he doesn't exist" until he can treat you with dignity and respect. Returning a simple phone call is not too much to ask... Advertising for a female roommate is definitely "out there." & collecting phone numbers from women at bars?? [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] He needs to remember he is married and set his priorities back on track, until then--he doesn't exist--to the point where he has power over you and your thoughts and your emotions. Take a class or something to get your mind redirected so your thoughts are not centered around him 24/7.<p>Don't be afraid. You're gonna make it!

honey,<p>The backsliding is something you need to protect yourself from.<p>Plan A changes, things like 180's, etc. Are meant to be permanent changes. We do not relax and go back to the old ways. MB is about learning a new way to be... to be stronger and better.

thanks, I am feeling better today, thanks for the encouragement. I am focusing on my business, MK, and that is making me happy!<p>Hugs, H