W tried to swallow a bottle of prescription pills Tuesday night. Fortunately I was there to see it and managed to get my finger in her mouth and get most of them out. Called 911 and she was taken (against her will) to the ER. W is now in a psychiatric evaluation hospital on a 3-day hold. I don't know what will happen after that, she may be released and ordered to treatment, or they may get a court order to keep here there. Either way, she is where she needs to be right now, none of her family and friends can help her anymore. I am also trying to get custody of the kids, at least temporarily. They need someone they can rely on and know is going to be there for them.<p>For the last few days before that, things seemed to be going pretty well. I know that OM and W had been doing a lot of fighting and it seemed that the A was beginning to show signs of dying. OM had moved back home with his W and told WS that he had been with his W the whole time and couldn't commit to WS, even told her that he didn't think he could remain faithful to her even if they did get married.<p>Tuesday night, W went out with a friend who I respect and trust, someone who she didn't normally hang out with. She came home early and we talked about her and OM (her decision). W told me that she didn't think she could live without him, said she loved him so completely that she didn't have anything left to give me or the kids. W then said that she gave an entire life of love to OM in the time they were together. The more we talked, the more I realized how depressed W was becoming. W also told me she had smoked some dope that night and had was visibly drunk. So I decided to stay the night to make sure everything was ok. Good thing I did.<p>W's BF called me yesterday and I talked to her for a while. I think she is beginning to see how serious this situation is. She told me that she is going to start to distance herself from it because she knows that she cant give W the help she needs. BF also told me that I need to get custody of the kids because W really cant take care of them right now.<p>So, looks like my situation is no longer a MB thing. Right now, I need to focus on my kids and to get W the help she really needs. I am also beginning to think that there are a lot more serious issues going on than just the A. I'll probably be away from the boards for a while, I just have so much to do. But, I promise to keep you all posted and let you know what is going on.<p>Thanks for everything you all have done. I honestly don't think I could have been able to deal with this without all of you. God Bless you all.

Sorry to hear about your pain. I hope all the best for you and your family. Make sure that you dont forget about yourself in all of this. Right now your kids only have you and if you neglect yourself then what do the kids have?<p>Good Luck

[[[[loveherstill]]]]<p>Remember it's darkest before the dawn... the MB 'thing' isn't just 'saving' marriages... I believe it is restoring people... so if you still need to 'talk' post a way!!! <p>Please take care of yourself...<p>Cali

LHS,<p>I am sorry to hear about your W. Give her all of the support you can. This isn't about saving a marriage now, it is about her life. You have done well to get her to the hospital.<p>Personally, I suspect that this crisis is what was brewing for awhile and she needed to get to this point. Now that she has the only is up.<p>Hang in there, take good care of the kids, and take good care of her. I have no idea how the marriage will go, but she will and does need your help.<p>God Bless,<p>JL

I'm so sorry. So much pain for your family. I went back and read more of your posts, I don't know what to say.<p>Your 12 year old daughter wrote a very important letter. She is bright and courageous. How awful it is to be a child and not to have the safety to live like a child. Her letter to your wife shone light upon the affair, where it shrivelled up and died.<p>I'm concerned about the effect of your wife's suicide attempt upon your children, especially your daughter. There is no way in hell she should ever think that telling truth led her mother to take pills. <p>Your daughter may feel responsible, may want to take the blame for her mother's actions. Don't let her. <p>When we do wrong, and we get called on it, it hurts. Your wife did wrong, and your children were integrated enough to call her on it. They refused to cover for her. LHS, I believe this is in large part because of your parenting. They know they can trust you. They don't try to be adults for your sake, your 12 year old daughter knows what being a normal child is supposed to be like, and she has the courage to put it into words. You can be proud of your parenting and your kids.<p>Your wife has serious problems, and I don't envy you having to deal with this situation. But I know that if you don't have time to come back here and post for a long time, that when you finally do, we'll all see where your children inherited their courage from.

Just a quick update..<p>W is getting released today from the treatment center today, doesn't want me to pick her up or have anyone at the house when she gets home, says she doesn't want to deal with anybody right now. I told her that I was not going to take the kids to the apt tonight, it would be too chaotic, they have been through so much that I thought it better they stay in the house in familiar surroundings. I asked W f she could just stay in a hotel tonight, she said that would be ok. I am going to be taking the kids to my dads this weekend so she can have the place to herself.<p>W wants me to take the kids all next week but I do not have enough vacation to do that, told her that I would do what I can, but I cant have them that long. I have also come to the point where I have nothing left to give her. My physical, mental and emotional health are completely exhausted. I can not take much more or else I may completely loose it myself. Much as I want to help W, I just cant anymore. I have given and given and have nothing left to give. I need to redirect my energies to my kids, my job and my education, I have neglected them too much during this ordeal. I'm not giving up on W or the M, but W has to give me something to work with, something that will give me reason to believe she wants to get better, if not for me, for the kids. <p>Talked to W's BF for a while today, kinda weird talking to her. I have a whole new perspective on where she stands in all of this. BF told me that she too can not give W any more support, that she has had enough of the A and what W is doing. BF says it seems that W is addicted to OM, kinda like an alcoholic is to booze, said she thinks W is an alcoholic as well. We both agreed that the only way we both can help W is for her to break off all contact with OM and come to us for help, we cant do it for her. It looks like everyone that W looked to for support is starting to distance themselves from her. <p>I sure hope that W gets her self straight soon. There are so many people that have been hurt by this. There is no easy way out of this, W has a lot of work to do if she wants to make ammends for what has happened. My biggest fear is that she continues to go after OM and he continues to string her along. This is such a sick relationship, it has no possibility of lasting for very long and can only end up destroying a lot of lives.

LHS,<p>Well now the work really begins. Your priorities are right on. It will take work but as you can see from other dads here you will have your hands full for a while but it will become a routine that you will be able to handle. <p>Build up your support group and let your W work on herself. We understand your need to refocus your concentration. <p>When you can,let us know how you are doing. <p>Take Care,
L.
PS: I am proud of how your daughter was able to speak her mind.

LHS;<p>Just a quick note of support and prayers...
The season is about to change..and spring is often such a time of renewal.<p>Be good to yourself...peace to you and the children...they are lucky to have someone who is working so hard at keeping it together....find strength in eachother...and know you'll get through this...
aRK

loveherstill,<p>Nothing much to add here in the way of advise accept to say I am sorry you are being thrust into this kind of hell. I feel for you and hope it can work out for the best. It sounds like you W needs serious councelling help and antiD's. Hopefully the treatment center will provide this for her.<p>Does OM know this situation? He should be informed and told to lay off before he causes more damage to an obviously fragile person. Maybe if u can't do this her BF can. <p>Hope you are OK. So much pain, look after yourself and your kids now - all will work out according to Gods plan.<p>harley

LHS, I am so sorry for your pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Cali is right...MB is not just for saving marriages it is for restoring people. I know it has done that for me! I know you will stay strong for yourself and your kids. You have done such a great job during all of this. You have been a rock! Keep us posted LHS! We care about you.
BH

Dear LHS:<p>No advise, others have done it well. Just take care of you and the kids first (that in and of itself is a great help to your W). When people hit bottom the only way is up. Let us all pray that this is your W's bottom and she will start the road up.<p>All my prayers to you and your family.<p>Jack