H got up this am v cheerful, saw I was down and came and gave me a hug, asked what was wrong. Told him what was wrong was I don't love him anymore and I'm sad about it.<p>This wasn't what he was expecting, but he didn't make any comment or ask why. Just told me I had to think positive. <p>Later he got our bills out and spread them on the table - said we needed to look at them and decide what to pay. There's $80.00 in our bank account and $300.00 of bills due beg of April. I get paid $300 on thurs. I said I knew where my money was, but couldn't pay bills if I didn't know how much we actually had - i.e. he puts all his money in his ac and only transfers what he thinks will cover bills after my money all used up - he charges all his gas to this ac, and all food and alcohol. He said he put in $500 last month - I got bank statement out and pointed out he only put in $150. He took me to task for missing a payment on my department store credit card. Who's being taken for a ride here? He said guess I need to put about $200 in this ac. Got cross with me and said who had supported the family all on his own the last 9 years when he was the only earner. I said I always gave him credit for this and let him know how much it was appreciated (I was SAHM, by mutual agreement) but he needed to know that money he earned belonged to both of us b/c I was working just as hard as he was, but at home.<p>Anyway, he said what was wrong with me is I don't take responsibility for myself! LOL (about missing payment on credit card). I said I just had taken responsibility - and where was his money - I filled out forms for a joint bank a/c a month ago, and never heard back from him. I said I was tired of this and wanted a separation. He said I was being totally selfish! LOL He meant that it was selfish of me not to stay together on account of the children.<p>I told him if anyone in this M was being selfish, it was him. He has claimed for himself the right to a private life, and nothing could be more selfish than that. That showed no regard for the feelings of our children whatsoever.<p>No more comments - no more discussions - now its afternoon, both kids home, he's gone out, hopefully for awhile - I'm trying to gather my thoughts. Suppose I'm drafting plan B letter.<p>Feel this way - M is an agreement entered into freely by both parties, with a mutually agreed set of rules.
