Help! My husband and I (of 8 months) split up 2 weeks ago. He asked me to move out. Of course you all know this is hell. So I did in the mean time I started piecing things together (with his help - i think he wants me to discover something) and BELIEVE he is in the beginning stages of an EA but am uncertain. He has been so mean to me and I can hardly stomach breathing right now. <p>We went to counseling last week but he sat there with his arms crossed sayin he knew he wanted a divorce but he was just there so he could tell his family to get off his back that he was trying to work things out. HE IS NOT! Again because his family pressured him he allowed me to return home but with the stipulation that he will not be accountable for his time away.<p>I have really tried the suggestions and sometimes become proud of myself for Plan Aing well but this is sooo new and soooo raw still. <p>I don't even know for sure if this is for real or if my mind's racing has caused me to piece things together out of nothing. I don't even trust my own thoughts. I truly believe it's an EA and he does still want the marriage but I did a lot of inconsiderate things during the first few months of marriages (and dating) and he has noooo faith that i won't turn on him again.<p>OK now the reason for writing....
#1 for support
2 how do you handle your mind if you don't even know? is he cheating?
3 we go to counseling tonight and i don't know if I should confront the affair - and how do I plan A when I feel so raw, sad and defeated while being honest with the counselor?<p>HELP i am so new and have soo much to learn!!!

dear mcm-BREATHE!! try to calm down. what you know for sure is your husband is not happy. if you made mistakes take ownership for them and appologize. i did this with my husband and he was shocked. i dont think he expected me to take any credit for our marriage breaking down. dont get me wrong-i dont take any responsibility for his ea/pa, he did that all on his own. i however made it possible to happen. i have to own that and change.<p>as far as your mind-finding out anything new doesnt help. it just makes more questions and depression. you may need to think about anti-d's for some help. look into that.<p>as far as counseling tonight-i dont know what to tell you. my husband went 2 times and stopped. we had a horrible counselor though. <p>you need to read SAA and his needs her needs. read and keep reading. get yourself stronger and take it one day at a time. keep posting.

Mcm..
Hmm our first counselor stunk. The next one we went to was pretty good. She saw us jointly together then individually. it helps you say what you really think or feel. I think she is pretty good.. even my WW likes her. <p>Hey if you want her name I can give it to you she is in columbia MD near the columbia mall.<p>
-HI