I am WS and have seperated from wife for 2 months and just started communicated with W in the last 2 weeks via email only, she wanted to file taxes as married for last year and I agreed to do it. Saw her today close up for the first time since we were in court when she filed restraining order against me in Jan. I gave a card that reiterated how sorry I was, and I wrote her a poem, she has not responded yet, so that means she threw it away without reading it. Our conversations have run the gamut from the constant name calling by her which is understandable, to her still wanting to divorce. I understand, my question is, my affair was with a woman off of the internet, and my wife asked me last week where I was emailing her from, because I told her I was not at work, I told her the truth that I had a computer and that I was working from home that day. Well she immediately assumed understandably that I was still meeting women, and if any of you have read my posts, I totally realize, and have accepted the evil that I did and will not I repeat will not resort to the internet for any thing other than to further my spiritual, or emotional education, outside of doing normal work activities which is sales. I have no desire to do that again, I have asked the Lord for forgiveness and understand that my broken marriage is the result of the evil behavior. She has had no contact with me except email. I told her that I only used the computor for good things now and that the past is just that. I told her about MB and how it was really helpful to me hoping that she would come and like it. Wrong, she thinks that we are all a bunch of losers, and that I am trying to meet lonely women on here, she missed the whole idea of why I did it, and I dont regret one minute that I told her the truth about having a computer. I do not need the internet if I want to lay up with a woman, I live alone, I can call an escort, or go to clubs, or just go down in the city and pay a hooker! I have learned my lesson, and pray one day that she will see that I only want her, I know I messed up bad and the damage is done, but for her to bash this website that has helped me through my pain is just wrong, and I say that because not all things on here have been positive to my situation, but yet it is because you guys, and girls tell it like you see it, so I say that to say that everything has been sent me has not been positive, but constructive in that I am finding out what I need to do to be a better husband, and Godly man in general, please tell me what you think, maybe I should not have told her that I had a computer yet, but I did not want to lie to her,she asked the question and I told her, that is what got me to where I am at now, the lying about what I do.
D-Day 1/8/02
W asked me leave 1/8/02
W filed restraining order 1/14/02
Moved into my own Apt 1/19/02
W asked for letter of apology 2/19/02
Sent Plan A letter 2/21/02
W moved out of house 2/28/02
I moved back into house 3/5/02
W asked me to file taxes together 3/10/02
She thinks that this website is a joke, what can I do?

there is nothing you can do to change her thoughts and actions. only your own. keep plan a'ing and learning. you are still early on in this. be strong and let her have her anger and emotions. you did the right thing by not lying about the computer, she probably knows that, but the computer itself is a trigger for her. do you understand that?? just be supportive and strong for her.

That's alright. She doesn't have to like MB. Hopefully, she will learn to like you again if you keep up with Plan A.

she wanted to file taxes as married for last year and I agreed to do it.
Unless you are legally divorced, you have to file as married. You can file married/separate but cannot file as single.<p>I gave a card that reiterated how sorry I was, and I wrote her a poem, she has not responded yet, so that means she threw it away without reading it.
Why does it mean she threw it away? Perhaps she did read it but may think it means nothing.<p>but for her to bash this website that has helped me through my pain is just wrong,
Since she has not been here, she probably assumes it is simply a chat room where people complain about marriages, NOT a place where people come to save marriages using proven principles.<p>maybe I should not have told her that I had a computer yet, but I did not want to lie to her
You did right by telling her. She may not be happy about it, but you need to keep being honest with her, regardless of where you marriage/relationship goes. You betrayed her once & that is a big, big, BIG thing to overcome. Remember to think about her & her feelings in what you choose to do from now on and you won't have to worry if lying or not is the choice to make.

needing,
Sometimes when one partner has given up on the marriage, they really don't want to do anything to restore the marriage...no counseling, no MB, no postive communication....<p>I think of it as bridge burning, being so hurt or afraid or angry that you attack anything that might help.<p>Plan A done over time, sometimes can flop a new bridge down. It's worth a try on your part.

Needing,
Honesty by all means! I'm a WH,too so I am there.
As for your W and MB's ......I can understand that. We all have pre-conceived ideas about certain things until we see or hear something in person to change that and you can't make her do that. Hopefully as things get better between you two then sharing this site may take on a new meaning for her.
Brw

I really appreciate the feedback, I keep remembering what she looked like yesterday when I met her at her job to sign the tax papers, and she had a look in her eyes that seemed like she might have someone else now, She had left a voice mail last week saying that she had her next husband already picked out, and when I tried to get her to slow down with this guy she then said that she didnt have her next husband picked out. She said that the only communication that she wanted was by email, there are so many things that I want to talk to her about, as far as working it out, but she is not having it, I guess, I should sit back and wait for her to communicate? Or what would be appropriate to try to get her to talk about more than proceeding with divorce, or accusing me of still chatting with and meeting women off of the internet, or calling me a freak or pervert, I miss her so much!

I talked to my 19 yr old stepdaughter last night for over an hour last night, the first time that we have talked since D-Day, told her that I would answer any questions that she had but that since I had not talked to her mom face to face I would not get into specifics, and as I expected she fired away at me for what I done, and I could tell that she understandably was very upset with me, wanted to know how someone who was going to church every sunday and says that they loved her mother could do something like I did, she also wanted to know how long this lasted, which I told her, she seemed to be very responsive to what I had to say. I also asked her if she would go with me to the father daughter dinner that the church does every year, and she said that she would have to ask her mom, and she lives on her own, but I understand that she would run it by her first, I pray that her mom will still allow me to be a father figure in her life, even after the disgusting behaviour that brought this all to pass, any suggestions would be appreciated on how to approach my 21 yr old stepson who is still living with W and she has told me not to call the house so, not sure how to really get to him. Keep praying for me!

NA,
Since you have found the internet (computer) a temptation in the past, what "extrodinary measures" are you taking to prevent a downslide?

Deleted all email addresses and Yahoo instant messenger, and most of all leaning on God for the courage to resist the temptation, and it has been real easy so far, and I live alone, it is not the temptation that it was when I was doing evil and using deception, and I always think of the results of the actions of the consequences of doing what I did in the past, I feel that I am letting myself and God down.Using the internet for anything other than email, research, or listening to sermons, downloading music. That is one temptation that I will not forget and aftermath of what it creates.