Haven't been at MB for several months.
Why? I gave up.
Finally decided after 1 full year of trying really hard to Plan A that Plan B was the only way to sanity.
Have started mediation & I am getting the D no matter what.
H still hasn't taken 100% rsponsiblity for his actions...kid's are a mess.<p>It's amazing though to see how many "friends" have stayed around. Not many. Anyone else notice this.<p>Someone once said you find out who your true friends are during a death or divorce.<p>I wish everyone the best of luck. Remember you have to do what makes "you" happy.

I had a hard time with that while H and I were seperated too. I felt abandoned. My H thought I had my friends on my side, and I figured they must all have gone to him....and actually we were both very alone. I think people don't know what to say or what to do, and so they stay away. Don't take it personally, although I realize it's very hard not too.<p>I hope things start to look up for you. Take care.

I really found out who my real friends were. People that I would have thought would be there for me (not friends of H anyway) sometimes weren't, others who I wasn't as good of friends with rallied around and were some of my best support. You just don't know until something bad happens who you will find in your life. You have to find your blessings where you can get them.

louser,<p>Had wondered about you many times. Thanks for the update.<p>There aren't as many of the same ones still here as when you were here before, alot of new people needing to be here. There has also been some fallout as a result.<p>But you do still have friends here!!<p>I sent out christmas cards like I always do and did add that WH and I were seperated. Had a friend that I haven't heard from in about 10 years call me, just have always mailed her a card. We've had many wonderful conversations since and she and family are coming to visit this summer. I think how depressed I am about my own situation, I think what does that do to my friends to have to listen to it repeatedly. So I tell it once when they ask and don't bring it up again til the ask and if they don't neither do I.<p>Welcome back to you louser, please continue to post if it helps you.<p>Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

louser,
I too was thinking about you recently. I'm glad you posted an update. Please hang around, if you can. <p>Best wishes!

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by louser:
<strong>Someone once said you find out who your true friends are during a death or divorce.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>That is so true!!! After Andrew passed away, it was amazing how many people did NOT call or talk to us anymore. Even almost one year after, when I was at a family reunion (on my dad's side), I had many FAMILY members having trouble talking to me. Of course, me being the way I am, would still talk about Andrew (he had been there the year before). THEY were the uncomfortable ones. I gave it a shot to talk to them, they didn't know how to react other than to change the subject or just nod and smile (you know the type, huh? LOL). So screw 'em. I'll wait a few years before I go to another reunion.<p>The true friends are the ones who have listened to me talk about Andrew, and have shared their memories and thoughts with me.<p>As far as the dealing with the same folks after the whole A mess started (5 months after Andrew died)... that wasn't as difficult. But that's only because I already had my true friends filtered out!!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Be sure to keep on coming here if you need someone to talk to, or just to vent in general.. and of course, to help others if you have the strength.<p>Any which way, thank you for updating us on your situation. It's true there has been a huge turn around in MBers lately... but a few of us 'older ones' are still chuggin' along in here. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Glad to hear that you've learned to continue to plan A YOU!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Good stuff!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Karen