Firstly, thank you to all of you for your PM's and private e-mails, you are all so thoughtful. <p>he has been asking for almost a week to come home now. Claims today he told her it's over (no proof as of yet). He is hoping she will quit because she will not accept the latest transfer as the pay is less. I don't believe any of it.<p>He is willing to meet any conditions put on him if I take him back (14 of them - no contact other than work, schedule of his day, always answers cell phone, records come to house, home every night to name a few). My Mother has asked me to give him a second chance. the problem with this is my heart already says it's over. What kind of effort would I really be putting in.<p>then we have the other side. He has alot of problems, and as the father to my children do I owe him that much to try to help him? I think no, many others think I should atleast try.<p>I have made no decisions. Am more leaning towards no I don't want to do this anymore. He can't be trusted and I have moved into a comfortable existance without him and his sorry ways. My Mother feels I am in no position to be making such a critical decision in my life with everything that has happened to me and thinks I have put up a shield to protect my heart from anymore pain from him?<p>What do you all think? What would you do? I feel like changing my login name to Torn and Moving On! LOL

Well you are in a better position than many. I am sure a few would be willing to trade situation places with you right now. <p>So step back and write the pro and cons of this recovery. You sound like you have some anger issues due to this that need to be addressed and resolved. See temporary fixes is a good start but what the BS needs to see are good habits in the making. Making changes that affect our way of life. <p>I told my H that my trust needs to be restored. That is now his job. Mine is to be a good W. Think I have already been doing that so I need to keep at it. <p>JMHO,
L.

If my WH ever moves out, I have thought about what it would take for me to let him come back home. <p>I thought I would probably say something like: "Our old marriage is over. I am willing to explore the idea of a new marriage with you, but I need to be courted all over again. Let's start by dating, I am not ready for cohabitation."