One of my reasons to move him back is I think if I wait too much longer I won't be able to do it. I do believe everyone deserves a second chance but I know I really won't be able to give him one.<p>My lawyer has recommended he move back because between his hotel bills, food etc. and he is drinking up a storm he ran up over $6,000 in one month - this puts a huge dent in what I will receive if and when we split.<p>i guess I'm kind of thinking of it more as a safe haven for him. he gets himself some help (mind and body) and I just watch. No effort on my part. I feel I owe that to the kids to try to help their father get well. <p>time will tell if he's telling the truth and I will have him followed by a PI in a few weeks time just to double check and will continue to check. I'm not really taking him back anymore to save the marriage - but attempt to save my family. My children are so young.<p>I already know it's not going to work, because I have already given up hope but I think today if he is willing to agree to the list (now 17 things) and sign it, I'll give him one last chance, at least that way I can say I did and never look back again.

any advice?

Hopeful and sad.<p>What are the 17 items on the list? Are they ones that he can realisticaly live up to. If so, and you feel he is no longer with the OW. Then maybe its time to consider him coming home. <p>Please don't allow him to return because your lawyer thinks he is spending too much (maybe your Lawyer thinks he/she wont get paid! Sorry, if I offend any lawyers out there, but I've had bad experiences with them in the past) If you want him to return, it should only be bcuz you want to work on your marriage. Of course, your 2 young children are a factor, and I understand that. But you must make that decision for the two of you. <p>It will be much easier to work on the M if he is there. You will not only know his whereabouts in the evenings, but can have face to face communication rather than emails and phone calls.<p>Good Luck..<p>Susie