I AM EXCITED - HERE IS AN UPDATE: <p>WH is comming home for Easter weekend (usually home few days each month) <p>Lately, he has been saying I love you fairly regularly on the phone and emails. (This is new)<p>Yesterday he asked about the kids, really asked. (This is new)<p>He called oldest son & told me that he wouldn't be home for Easter that he has to work. I think he said bummer to me about it.<p>He has been vulnerable to me and talking more business wise. (We are in business together & have had some real struggles lately with finances and all that results from that)<p>WH sounds different when talking to me on the phone, more intune?<p>Talked to Steve Harley earlier in the week and he suggested that we make this a stress free weekend. To begin to shift the emphasis off the A's & onto the relationship. (I've seen posts to that effect on the Recovery board) <p>I've stopped snooping (since end of Jan) It feels better, like I get what I concentrate on either good or bad.<p>Things are brought to light anyway & I try to deal with them with out LB's. <p>Yesterday while bringing up a hotmail account while on phone with WH and OW#2's name popped up & I told him about it. At first he said he didn't know how it got there blah, blah, blah. Then he asked if it had been there a while. I replied, it could be, our D saw it a while ago & said "What is this???!!!!????!!!!@#*@@##$%) - oh never mind" Then WH said that it was really old (and basically acknowledged that he accessed it) Note: really old is Christmas time or early Jan.)
I felt better that he did not dey it & was ok after that.<p>Realize that this MAY be a turning point in our M.
What I need to remember is that:
1. He still works out of state and there is no way to work on recovery of our M in those conditions (Especially with OW1 (HS friend) and OW2 right there nearby.<p>2. That I would rather stay apart than just getting back together without processing all of this sh@t. Steve asked "Does it have to be right now?" no, it really doesn't. It's the are we going to talk about our R or are we going to live our R (For now).<p>We've been here before and never processed anything, never learned the message of the affair ( as in the book Torn Asunder. Great Book, just got it & read it in a day!) Now, I am willing to do what ever it takes. Before, I just wanted him back and did the SF thing....didn't work cuz here we are agian.)<p>3. I am so thankfor for MB and all those who post on these boards. The support is heart warming and so much can be learned from the successes and failures of each other.<p>4. I recieved an unexpected blessing in my life - A friend who was having M problems same time as me, She had an A. Both of them left their partners. She is DV & he is in the process. She leaves very soon to go live near him. I can see the fog, the denial, that she has not worked through her problems and will take baggage into her next R. She saw the pain I was going through, but now I have come trhough the other side. I am a better person, no matter what happens in my M.<p>5. Just after D day 1 (10/01), I made a decision to not make any decision about my M for a min of 6 months, but preferably 1 year. That was a good choice. I don't know if WH & I will work through things and create a new M. We may not make it, and I am ok with that too. <p>Thanks all of you in MB land and God for leading me here <p>
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