I believe that my husband is having an affair w/ his assistant at work. Same type of behavior as 2 yrs. ago (with different person). He has denied everything (of course) and has plead his love for me and our children. <p>He has been very nice, etc. I am sort of plan A'ing until I figure out what I want to do. I have a son 6 w/ autism and a 5 yr. old daughter. I haven't worked in about 4 yrs. I am in no position to leave at this point. I am seeing a counselor and he suggests that I start to take care of myself and be "true" to me.<p>Today, I took my H's car for errands. He took the new car he bought me Monday to a Golf tournament (guilt, guilt, guilt). Anyway my daughter suggested that we wash and clean Daddy's car as a surprise. So as I was vacuumimg out the back I lifted up the mats in the back to find 2 condoms (in wrappers). Needless to say, I was sick. It's just amazing that he keeps telling me all the people that have been telling me things aren't my friends, etc. I also told him that I would no longer look for things. I agreed to this because of how it was affecting me, not because of him. And things still "pop up". Talk about life letting you know what you need to.<p>So, I have thought about this all day. I need to tell him. I can't keep it in because it will kill me & then next week he does something annoying I will lose it!!!<p>I am thinking of telling him what happened in a matter of fact way. And telling him that it hurt me. I will not accuse him of anything. I just need to let him know what I found. What do y'all think? I am basically telling him what I know. I can't get into a big screaming bash again, it's been he_ _ the last month. <p>Any suggestions would be great. I don't expect any apologies or justifications (b/c everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie). <p>I'm just trying to do what is best for me. Thanks. He will be home very shortly, so any quick replies will be welcome.

Bumping ^^<p>I anyone is still out there. Can someone please help her. I'm not the right person for this.
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I am not sure how much help i can be but will listen, I have been through this many times with my husband, It helps to talk and i am willing to listen if you like you can instint message me if you have yahoo or aol or icq

Sorry I didn't see this earlier, but here is what to do:<p>Do not give away what you know.<p>Just very simply say, "I think you are having an affair."<p>Don't say anything else. Just wait. If he asks, "Why do you think that?", just say, "I just think so." and then be quiet and wait.<p>If he says anything other than a simple denial, goes off on tangents, etc., then you will probably know the true answer.<p>It really doesn't do a whole lot of good to confront WS in denial. I have heard of cases where the WS was confronted with videotape or pictures and continued to deny it. Even ones where the BS has discovered the WS in their very own bed with the OP and the WS tried to convince the BS they were hallucinating. So denying in the face of incontrovertible evidence is pretty common.<p>Just remain calm and confident, and no matter what he does, don't take the bait.

Hi, <p>Well 'if' you can, say 'it looks like somebody is doing bad things in your car'. Not sure if they have some sort of disease or something but I found some body fluid and medical supplies in the back seat of the car, a rubber somthing......<p>The object is to give the onis to him to explain himself. Asking directly or accusing for some is difficult because they go into denial but if the question is focused away from them, then maybe you can get their gray cells ticking and then they may wonder what is going on? What did you find out? Then watch them, usually they slip up. <p>JMHO,
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