Has anyone read Who ate my cheese ? How appropriate to what we are all facing here.<p>There was one part that really hit home and sounds very much like MB principals. Here it is:
"I think I need I just need to let go of a bad relationship" Which is the old cheese to which another replies: "Perhaps the old chees is just old behavior. What we really need is to let go of is the behavior that is the cause of our bad relationship. And then move to a better way of thinking and acting. The new cheese is a new relationship with the same person"
Then "REpeating the same ofd behavior will just get you the same results"<p>It's a great book and quick reading.<p>My first reaction to my H's A, was to DV, just get out. After I found this site and read MB books, I changed my direction. I began to see that if we were BOTH to change and do the MB things in our R, that it would be a great R. That gave me hope, where before I had none.<p>So I look for a new R with the same person. MB all the way. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

That's a good insight on a good book! I also like the fact that when "Hem" and "Haw" finally let go of their old beliefs and move on, they find that they are energized and happy because they have a new sense of purpose and accomplishement. Hmmmm. Do I smell some cheese? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

R Cane,<p>Hopefully it's the new cheese you smell and not the old. "Adapt to change quickly - the quicker you let go of the old cheese, the sooner you can enjoy the new cheese"<p>In the beginning I was like ?hem or ?haw - can't remember...anyway I didn't want to leave cheese staition C. I kept comming back every day wondering where the cheese was! in reality my CHEESE left 3 years ago!!!!! I denied it , I said it wasn't fair, I worked harder, then not as much....But the cheese still wasn't there.<p>I am looking forward to the New Cheese. It is energizing. I had to let go of the old cheese, it was painful, gut renching. I had to wander the maize and make wrong turns, and to WALK THROUGH MY FEARS so that when I came out the other side I was FREE.<p>I still haven't found cheese staition N but I'm searching the maize and have found small peices of cheese on my journey. Small successes in the beginning spur me on the find the new cheese. The small peices of cheese that I'm finding are " I love you's" AND my own sense of me, the me that is growing in a positive direction. <p>Right now, I am envisioning the new cheese. I am not focusing on the empty Cheese Staition C. I stopped snooping and I am truly envisioning a wonderful new r with my WH<p>M running shoes are on!
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Geez, I tried watching that video once, but I fell asleep (and it's a really short video too). I guess I had better bring it home again! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Luvmydogs2,<p>I too started to fall asleep reading the book in Barnes & Noble!!! It was worth reading all the way through. <p>It took me 2 years to REALLY figure out that someone (my WH) had moved the cheese (our M)<p>PS - I love my doggie too - a golden retriever
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Is there a video on this book? Can you rent it, is that what you mean? Or is it at your library? I have bought so many many books on relationships... and I thought I could not afford steve harley's counseling... but the books add up over time... I have a whole basket of bookds on relationships by my bed... very very big basket... at least 20 books or more.... I think this concept sounds very good... especially for me... since I need to quit looking for the same and start the new relationship. I gave my saa book to my h and he threw it away in the beginning... I need to get a new one of those soon! I know it would help.. hugs to all of you, thanks for all the support...<p>what is hem and haw.. him and her right? thanks for everything, hugs, HONEY [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Honey, there is a video but I don't imagine it would be available in your regular video outlets. You could possible try your local public library. I work in a hospital library and it's used as a motivational video, especially for change acceptance. Hem and Haw are the two mice characters in the video. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Excellant book!!!<p>If you like that one there's another one along the same lines called Fish. It's about changing your attitude and making what you do (whatever that may be) enjoyable. It's very good. Don't remember who it's by but you can find it by looking up www.fishphilosophy.com