We started watching this movie called An Inconvenient Woman, which I thought would probably be good because it was based on a book by Dominick Dunne.<p>Pretty quickly into it, an A begins between Rebecca DeMornay and Jason Robards with all the attendant secrecy, and when the narration of the OW started explaining how they were careful to not sit together on the plane, register at separate hotels, etc., it was too close to the features of H's A for me, but this time instead of using some excuse to go do something else, I said out loud, "I don't think I should be watching this." And I said it right at that part and got up and got busy in the kitchen.<p>He said it was boring anyway and asked me to come back, saying we could find something else. Then, guess what we ended up watching? My Very Best Friend with Jaclyn Smith, which I was better able to tolerate because it focused on Smith's betrayal of her best friend and all the plotting and setting up she did to get her H. Since my H's OW is a stranger to me, this one didn't affect me the same way the other one did.<p>HOWEVER, I kept thinking of maggierose because it did remind me very much of her situation, so once again I said out loud: "I have a friend who lived through this exact same scenario, and it happened in her very own bed just like this, and she didn't find out until 6 years later. Totally disgusting." He didn't comment, but at least I had the courage to say out loud what I was thinking instead of being too afraid to touch the hot potato of adultery as a subject of conversation.<p>Maggierose, I felt a lot of empathy for you during this movie and how horrible such a double betrayal is. This one ended well though--the H died, and the best friend OW got arrested for his murder and that of her husband previously.

Well, here's to "happy endings"! It's too bad all A's can't be wrapped up with such a tidy ending! But then half the population would end up dead! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] Seems a bit harsh? You sure the BW didn't set up the whole thing though? Maybe that could be the sequel? Hmmm... I think this board develops both dark humor and paranoia! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Actually the BF/OW tried to frame the heroine for her H's death (his death was in reality a tragic accident) and it backfired on her because she had been keeping a voice-activated tape recorder in H and W's bedroom (she was staying with them after the death of her H, which WAS by her hand). She would listen to their conversations and then later talk to the H about his inmost thoughts (as expressed to his W) as if they were her own in order to make him think they were so in tune with each other and soul-mates and all that--a real evil b****, I'm telling you.<p>After the W ran out after discovering them in bed together, the H realizes he was manipulated and set up by the BF/OW and is devastated by what he's done to his W and immediately starts throwing his clothes on to go running after her, all the while telling the BF/OW how much he hates her and never cared about her.<p>The BF/OW pulls out his gun from the nightstand (she'd of course already snooped all over their room every chance she had) and says that she won't let him get away from her again (he had cheated with her 20 years previously before marrying his W). He says something about how she can't kill him, and she says she got away with it once (her H) and she'll get away with it again and starts shooting at him. He manages to avoid getting shot and wrestles the gun away from her and goes running after his W.<p>Right after the BF/OW tries to convince the police that the W murdered the H, the police end up finding the tape recorder she planted in their bedroom that had recorded the whole exchange with her confession of her H's murder and her attempt to murder the heroine's H, and they also found the gun with her fingerprints on it that the H had dropped on his way to his car. So, she was hoisted by her own pitard.<p>I definitely prefer movies where justice is served. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ March 31, 2002: Message edited by: Conqueror ]</p>

conqueror-good for you!!

Ah yes... some movies just hit WAY too close to home, huh? I had some triggering troubles the other night while watching A.I. with my H. (at the end the robot/boy has the opportunity to have one more day with his 'mommy', and it shows what they did, and how happy it made him. I lost it (crying to the point of hyperventilating - and I'm ON anti-d's!!!) b/c I was thinking about what I would do if I had just one more day with my Andrew. I would just hold him, and feel him holding me too.<p>Anyways... on to your original post... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] You talked about how you finally SAID something to your H. GOOD FOR YOU!!!! Yippee!! You're learning to do something that you haven't been doing before. That's great!!! It's so simple to hear and read how we cannot read each others' minds, but it's so true!! You have avoided a possible ugly outcome by sharing your true thoughts and feelings with your H. Let's hope he can learn by your example!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Karen

[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Well thanks for thinking of me anyway! Yes, the double betrayal makes it much harder to heal. If it weren't for the friendship thing added to the adultery, I think I'd be a lot further by now. I've decided I'll just feel sorry for her, cuz you'd have to be really messed up to do that to someone you supposedly care about. I do forgive her but it's taken a long time. I'm sure she never ever thinks about it or misses sleep over it or sheds a tear over it so I try not to...but it doesn't work that way!

Conqueror,
I want to apologize for getting snappish with you on that other thread last week. Your words weren't even directed at me, I believe I had an unresolved guilt trigger go off [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] and caught you in the gnashing of my teeth. I'm sorry for doing that.<p>And, good job on saying something on the movie. The other night we were watching CASABLANCA...great movie, right? What was married Ingrid Bergman doing in the middle of the night talking to former lover Humphrey Bogart, and he's drunk...I wanted to give her some good MB advice [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] . My 16 year old & her boyfriend (and he's rightly scared of me anyway) in the room, so I didn't say anything. But this time I was pulling for her to stay with her honorable H, rather than the Bogart character.<p>I guess I'll go see LORD OF THE RINGS again, nobody cheats, at least on their spouse, there.

husband and i were watching dont say a word last night and in the beginning is a trailer for the movie unfaithfull. i had just sat through a few other trigger things on regular tv and didnt say a word, but when this came on i just had to leave the room. went to bathroom, stayed there until i heard it was over. when i came back husband asked if i was ok. (see-he isnt totally blind!!) i said yes-but i will definately miss that one!!

No problem, Lor. I'd rather have the chance to clarify my intent if something I said hit someone the wrong way. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]