mt,<p>I want you to know that this will not be a "experience that" response. THis will be more along the line of when I was thinking of kicking her out and seperating.<p>Unfortuneltely my situation differs from yours alot. I am the bread winner in the M and W works mainly to get out of the house and not have ot watch kids all day long. I do over 60 a year, she does about 15. <p>I (because of a prenumptual agreement) in essence get to keep everything, the car, the truck, the boat, the house and the furnishings in it. She leaves with what she brought to the table before marriage...herself.<p>Of course my first reacction was to do the above and leave her high and dry. THen consience set in and I decided that she would get the car and make 1/2 of the payment (it's my kids she driving around). I would find her a place to stay and put down the deposit for her, she would make the rent payment. I would then be obligated to pay child support (whatever we or the court would decide on) and no alimony (in prenumpt, if adultry was divorce factor no alimony would be granted) She's the one who signed to it!<p>We dont have joint accounts and never will. She is thoughtless and careless when it comes to money.
MONEY does burn a whole in her pocket.<p>I also have told her (at first, not now) that the only reason that I dont kick her out was the fact that she couldn't make it on her own with the children. Thats the part I was really worried about, the kids.<p>We dont have any joint debt to worry about, never did. I always purchased or got credit in my name because her credit is for sh*t. Her mom and her filed bankruptcy before we met and she had other accounts with her mother that have lasped with payment and W has also lasped on any credit that she did have before and even after we met. Not to much after we met though, thats when I stepped in with her financial obligations and helped and told her what to do. SHe, to this day, cant even get a 500 credit card from her bank she uses.<p>A thing you could do (if she's willing) is sit down and go over very thoroughly, all the debt that has accumulated between you 2. Decide who gets what (house, cars etc.) whomever keeps those items should have financial responsiblity for that. As far as credit card debt, I would add it up, see if it is equal in amounts of obligation or responsibilty and see if you can (seperately) get personal loans to pay off the credit card companies. This will show up as being paid in full on credit report for both of you (NOTE: close the accounts after paying them off). This could save a lot of hassle down the road. Think about it, how many divorced people do you know that have crappy credit because of the divorce and no one wanted to admit to the obligation of repayment. This is more hurtful to the male than female. Dont know why, it just is.<p>If 1 of you gets the house, you also need to redo the loan to get the other name off and the title as well. Do the same for cars and trucks etc. Does this sound like a lot of work, YES. But it is well worth the effort for both of you.<p>As far as not being able to pay all the expenses yourself, if not going to divorce, you need to sit down with W and discuss the question you have posted here in the first place. She needs to understand that she probably has the same feeling.<p>Real sorry that there is no solid advice here, just bits and pieces of the thinking process I went through in the beginning of finding out and not really knowing what to do either.<p>[ March 31, 2002: Message edited by: wrestlingwithlove ]</p>
