I'm probably just going through my usual vacillations. Sometimes I feel like two different people when I re-read some of my posts. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] I can be happy and fun-loving one minute and in hell the next. Have to get to the store before H gets home. I'll check back in tomorrow. Thanks for thinking of me.<p>I'm baaaack. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I think my patience is wearing thin again, and I'm having a MLC. I'm impatient to know where my life is going, and I'm angry that NOTHING in my life has turned out the way I wanted it to and that someone else always seems to control my life and I am not allowed to have what I want in life. The eternal unfairness of life, I guess. Most of the stuff that was happening that led to the marital environment that my H felt gave him justification to betray me is still ongoing, and now I have his sh** on top of it.<p>To sum up, it is the age-old I want what I cannot have. As far as M, I want a M without adultery AND I want my children to avoid being children of divorce--can't have both of those. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] And right now I'm hating my H for making it impossible for me to have what I want and what ANYONE deserves. It just sucks, and no matter how much I work at it, no matter how much I read, no matter how much I try to learn and apply, it always comes back to how much it sucks.<p>What a downer, huh? I did miss a couple of my pills this weekend--maybe that has something to do with my current mood? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] Hope it's not catching--don't want to infect anyone else with my current pessimism, but can't help feeling it.<p>[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: Conqueror ]</p>
