Well, my 6 year wedding anniversary is 10 days away (April 13). [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I am so lucky that I still have my loving husband (BS) still by my side working ever so hard with me to improve our marriage (we are doing real well). However, April 13 is also exactly 9 months since d-day (and 9 mos. into rebuilding). [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>While talking the other day my husband mentioned our anniversary and how last year he tried so hard to make it special, etc. I frowned and cried at the thought that it didn't have the impact on me he had planned. [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] I told him that we don't have to celebrate if he doesn't want to, but in fact I hope in my heart that he does want to. He never mentioned the 9 months since d-day, but I thought of it last night and I know that it must weigh on his mind as well. Not only was 13 significant of the best day of his life with me, but it is also significant of the worst. <p>Anyhow, I want to make this anniversary special. I want it to shine in a new light and shout out love and honor. I want it to be significant of my promising my heart and soul to him not significant of my betraying it. I want to find ways to help him to focus on all good we have accomplished these past nine months. <p>I'm not sure how to look at it. Is it my 6 yr. wedding anniversary? Is it my nine month anniversary? Do I simply subtract the 2 yrs. my husband felt detatched from me and call it our 4 yr. anniversary? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] I know that things are different and our marriage is being built on a new ground, but I'm not ready to let go of ALL the past. Yes, I want to let go of the two years our marriage suffered, especially the time frame in which I had the affair, but what about all the good?! I can't just let that go. I want to cherish and treasure my wedding day, the day my son was born, and all the other days that our eyes said it all. <p>Anyhow, I just needed to vent this. I feel his pain and see how desparately he is trying to put that aside to start anew. I know this is hard on him and I just want so badly to find a way to help make it easier. <p>Well, thanks for reading. Anyone who may have suggestions or simply insights to help me along, it will be greatly appreciated. Still, thanks for reading and sharing.

Well...I've thought about this too. We lived together for a year, so I used to always add a year, since I FELT very married during that time...I wondered if I should subtract the 2 years I wasn't a wife and we were barely married.... NAH....This is MARRIAGE, this is LIFE...Ups and downs, bad and good... My H and I will celebrate our 10 year this year and I'm not addin or subtractin nothin. We earned it!!!!!!!!! If H doesn't plan something, then atleast try to plan something romantic at home. Don't even give him a chance to reflect on the OTHER date it signifies.... CELEBRATE!!!!

Thanks Hope - I needed that. I think I'm gonna cry. You are right - CELEBRATE! We survived the bad and have the good to remember. CELEBRATE!<p>Thanks again. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]