Hey, got a quick "Plan A" e-mail for WW... thought I'd get some comments... in response to something she initiated last night before bed...<p>
Hi,<p>First, good muffin! Perfect with my coffee!<p>Second, I just wanted to say less than 300 words… can you believe it?? I just wanted to follow up from last night… your concern for me, my mental health, because again, you sounded like you were interesting in talking about it.<p>… which I appreciate, by the way. Thanks! I’ll say it again: I’m open to talking about anything, but I defer to you for the who, what, where, when, how and why.<p>If I could summarize my own mental state… I’m confused, obviously. But I’m focusing on making me the best me I can be... In a way, I view our time together as an opportunity to learn and hopefully be there to support you, as long as you’re willing to receive my help. Of course, I can’t “do it all” alone, but even just changing perspectives is important for me. Some of the rest will come later. I don’t think I could even try to start a “new” relationship (you or otherwise) without first doing my own “foundation work,” and I’m getting there.<p>At the same time, it’s hard not to feel devalued and demeaned, so yes, I’m not immune to being upset. But I’m dealing with it for now. Some may ask, “Are you not surrendering your dignity?” I say I’m building it. It’s a process… a start and an end.<p>Someone once said, “I don’t have to like the situation, but I can like me in the situation.” That, along with seeing real possibilities allows me to push forward with life. I don’t need to be told what I should want or need, because I’m keenly aware of that. I have a clear idea of where I’m going right now… a plan is always a good thing. Unfeeling? Quite the opposite! It guarantees good feelings in the long run.<p>As for your state… obviously it concerns me. But I trust you, also. If you say you’re okay, I’ve got to believe that. If you say you’ll look into meds if needed, I believe that too. You know yourself better than anyone. Once you find the you that you want to be, I’m sure you’ll have a lot of clarity!<p>Well, that’s 386 words I guess, but who’s counting??<p>Have a good day!
J.R.

I think it looked good, and I especially loved the beginning. Good luck to you!

Hang in there J.R. You're doing well in an amazingly difficult situation!

J.R. - what are you trying to accomplish here?<p>Your note passed my "disrespectful judgement checker" in WordPerfect, but I did cringe a bit with this passage:<p>"As for your state? obviously it concerns me. But I trust you, also. If you say you?re okay, I?ve got to believe that. If you say you?ll look into meds if needed, I believe that too. You know yourself better than anyone. Once you find the you that you want to be, I?m sure you?ll have a lot of clarity!"<p>Keep in mind I have a very low threshold, but this sounds a bit controlling - in so many words, you're saying she's in a deranged state, she needs meds and needs "to find herself."<p>Maybe she acknowledges this herself, but generally, people don't like to hear what's wrong with them. This may not be pristine Plan A stuff. Tough love, maybe.<p>Take this for what it's worth.<p>WAT<p>[ April 03, 2002: Message edited by: worthatry ]</p>

Hey, FWIW, here's a portion of her reply!<p>Woow - too much to reply to. So here are the basics. I'm really glad that
you are okay. Its scary to think what people are capable of when they are
desperate. Second, I'm okay. Confused. Very confused. And needing to
sort myself out. But really, I'm fine. I am able to see small joys again.
Something I was unable to see just a couple of weeks ago<p>
... so, that's more than I've gotten in the past... a good thing. (Her talking about "desperation" came from a story she'd heard yesterday about a person who committed suicide... kind of inspired her asking me about how I was doing.)<p>... interesting that she's seeing "small joys" again over the past couple of weeks... it's been a couple of weeks since I'd talked to OM... another coincidence?? Stay tuned!