I have been reading a lot of threads over the last two months and have even posted a few myself but I had a revolation last night. While talking with my WW, I realized that what I have been doing was actually doing more damage than good. I have been reading and talking to everyone in order to gain knowledge and insight on affairs so that I would know what to expect during this unfortunate time in my life. <p>What I should be doing is exactly what I wasn't...let the affair work itself out while I continue to work on myself. This way if and when my WW comes out of the fog, she will know that I didn't talk down on what she was doing. I know she understands that what she is doing is not what everyone else expects of her but she is confused I my talking about it only makes her stay that way.<p>I understand that maybe she does want to be single even though I want to reconcile. I have to accept that it is her life and not mine and by wanting to reconcile is trying to force my wants on her and that is disrespectful. While she is still involved with OM, I will remain silent about the A to everyone, but my counselor. <p>I have taken the house off the market in an effort to show WW that the house we built together is still open to her should she decide to come back. I can always list it again in the future. Since WW has only talked about D and not filed, I figured maybe it's not too late to be the good guy in her eyes. I know she has seen the changes in my life, she even commented last night about them. This gives me a little hope to remain flexible to her need for more time.<p>I love my wife but I don't like who she has become because of OM. By resolving myself to not wanting "that" part of WW, I can move on without worrying that I am really pushing my WW aside. I am merely pushing that "other" woman who has invaded her body! I know my wife is still in there and I know that we will never be the same again. I know we could have a great marriage again, but until that opportunity arises, I will remain silent. <p>I know that there will be a point when enough is enough and I must move on without her if she has not stopped A. I don't know when that will come up but I am still strong so I will continue to hold out for myself and our boys.<p>Thank you to everyone who has lended an ear or word of advice to me. I appreciate you and good luck with your own situation. My prayers are with you [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Mark
