HELP!<p>I posted this in plan a/b but i was told i would get a quicker response in here.<p>I thought I was in Plan A? I guess I can say I am now OFFICIALLY in plan A as of this morning. I have talked to my WH about working on us and some EN issues. I havent actually done it yet. This morning I completely lost it! I tryed to hold back but I couldnt. I found out forsure H is still keeping in contact with OW. ( by phone/ poss. @ work also). Now that that is out, he says that he was really trying with me ( and he was besides the contact w/ OW) but he did speak with her a few times. Shes knows its over and they both know the A has to end. Anyways, he said he called her today to put a final stamp in it and end it all the way. Well I LB'ed like a mad woman! What a ding dong I am! I totaly let my emotions get the best of me and said ALL kinds of stuff I wish I never did. <p>Im calm now. Ive been on this site for hours and I think Im ready to talk to my H about starting plan A. My question is How should I come at him with it? What should I say from begining to end? <p>I really need some help here as you can see, I have a major problem with my emotions.<p>Please Help Me!<p>Thanks,<p>P I

Don't have time to write a long response, but I believe that Plan A is something you just DO, you don't tell your spouse you're doing it.
1) Do your best to satisfy your spouse's emotional needs while avoiding lovebusters. Learn what his EN's are.
2) Examine your mistakes in the marriage. It doesn't mean that your spouse didn't make mistakes, it's just about improving yourself. Express a willingness to work on those problems.
3) Formulate a vision for the new improved marriage you would like to have. What is your vision for that?
4) Work on yourself regardless of what's happening in your marriage. Focus on being the best person you can be.

Go here and read all about Plan A and B. Plan A is about making yourself better.

P I,<p>Check out the posts Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.) and Plan B - 101 (2nd ed.) and Plan B - 201!<p>Redhat gave you some excellent advice...
...reread her replies.<p>Actions do speak louder than words...
...show your spouse your changes first... in actions!<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jim/NSR

As a relative newbie to the site, could I also recommend you keep coming back and re-reading. There are so many things I pick-up from rereading articles, and even posts people gave me. I didn't always "get it" the first time round as I was in distress, tired, emotional, hurt-all the things your feeling now.<p>I've learn quite a few things in my short journey, but a big one was learning to bite my tongue. I've only yelled at H only once about his A, but I've done plenty of other LB's. I'm learning, slowly that I have to shut up sometimes and at other times be assertive with him. Each time I have to consciously remind myself that the dialogue he opens up with is at least honest (even if I don't like what he tells me) and at least he trust me enough to give me snippets of info and clues.<p>Come here and get your feelings out instead, or write about your anger then burn it or throw it away.<p>Good luck