My wife and I are living apart now. She wanted to be independant, do things her way, show herself she could make it on her own.
One month ago she picked up the keys to her place. She since then has asked me to help move things, build shelves, pick out wall valets for bathrooms, hook up dryer vent etc.. Told me she wants to help me with what ever I need.
Today while I was putting up wire shelves she started brushing off my shirt sleave and back. I told her if I knew she'd be doing that I'd have gotten dustier. Then she started brushing off my Butt. She got a little flushed after this.
She wanted me to get an assemble it-yourself pantry cupboard. When I got it back she said It wasn't quite what she had in mind. I told her I could take it back and get the other one She said it would be OK. I told her I can exchange it for the one she wants. She said that would be nice..
After the cupboard was loaded i thanked her for being patient with me and I liked how she didn't start a argument. She said we can get along and grow up. She's been calling often too. I have to keep being patient<p>[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Daniel ]</p>

Hi Daniel,<p>Happened to see your post so thought I would drop in and say hello. Sounds like the seperation is going ok. This is just a thought, take if for what it is worth as you know your situation best.<p>If your wife is seperating to become more independent, should you be helping her out as much as you are (maybe your not doing all that much, then ignor this)? It kind of sounds like your wife might be gettin the best of both worlds, getting to live on her own, but still having you to take care of things for her. If that is the case, do you want to think about if you should in a kind and caring way, allow her the independence she wanted? Is her goal of sereration to figure out if she wants you in or out of her life, will she be able to figure this out the way things are now? Ignor this if it doesn't apply. Just a thought.<p>Hang in there and do what you know you need to do.<p>God's strength and much patience to you.

Tom,
Thanks for your input. You're right about letting her be independent. I started out being polite to her, but doing my own thing. Then one night she called me at 9pm to say she couldn't get the washer hooked up, it was leaking and she needed to wash clothes for kid for school. I couldn't leave her hang there so I helped. We ended up on the couch with wine and some pretty good talk, and a good night kiss. I helped her with the shelf building in the basement. She said she felt bad that I was there helping her instead of working on my own place, said when I need help call her she owes my big time. Has cut my hair, made dinner. Did 5-6 loads of laundry till my w/d were delivered. I never thought we'd get along so well while building shelves. She is seeing me as able to do most anything, and unlike OM I didn't drop her. I found that ignoring her and letting her set, was a LB. I'm getting to be a little harder to live without. Tonight I picked up the assemble youself cupboard and she made supper for her, the kids, and myself. She wanted help to find things for the house, the 4 of us all went, and she treated for lunch. I find that we are spending more time together and enjoying ourselves. Tonight she dropped me off at my place and helped unload my tools. When I turned to say good-night she was waiting for a kiss and hug. Your right Tom, but my wife seems to want me around. <p>Not the plan I thought I was starting, but working out better than I planned. I can always back off later.
D.

Dan,<p>All that matters is if it's working for you. <p>Keep up the good work.