sat by me... and actually hugged me when he left... it was a bit embarrasing as some of the parents know about the seperation... but WOW>.. h sd on the phone... will stay as long as you do not say anything wierd... <p>well basically I sat quiet... he made his own conversation and I only said nice things back... no quedstions... about who what and whwere.. etc... acted aloof,and nonchalent... it did the trick... he is wanting more.. and hating to go home... alone... oh well...he still went to his place though..<p>on my way out to wonderful mexican in houston with my boys... monday night has kids free... at this great restaurant... so I only have to pay for me and both kids are free... awesoome!<p>Thanks guys, wanted to post something good, about being good! Honey

I am so proud of you! This is just the ticket to remind you what happens when you keep your trap shut!<p>Don't get too aloof, make sure you leave things a tiny bit open. Last thing you need is for him to think you have caught an attitude as bad as my sinus infection.<p>Tell me about the hug. Remember I live vicariously thru all you folks. Was it a hug with a squeeze, a arms length hug, a rub up against you hug, did he mush you to him, did your faces touch.... <p>You did a good job. He is thinking of you right now. Betcha.<p>How was the Mexican? We have Perkins that is free kids on Tues, and family night at pizza hut on Wed where little one is free and big one is only 2.50, then on Thurs we hit the chineese buffet, they never charge for Manda, and Chris is like $3. I gotta learn how to cook.<p>Elizabeth<p>Afterthought... Did you guys win the game?<p>[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: justthewife ]</p>

That's super, Honey... keep that attitude going, and build on it... Consistency, right? A long term pattern of behavior, right? Perfect!

Great news Honey! Keep up the great work. You are doing great!
BH

Honey,<p>Print out your 1st post here on this thread. <p>you were nice so your H was nice. <p>you can do this<p>btw I like your other thread. you sound postive in it also.

Hi Eliz.-<p>...it was a hug with a squeeze with a little mush of me up him, it was sad... it took me offgaurd... he sd... bye... and then walked over to hug me... it was a bit out of place for the baseball game... in a way... so I did not hug back as much as I would of liked... to... I was snack mom and standing by my cooler with drinks and chewys for all the boys.<p>We won as usual this season, awesome group of 10 yr. old boys... my son is still 9 but almost 10- they are doing well this season, my son has been on the team like 4 seasons... and one other team ` season before..<p>Mex. was awesome... a little higher than last time... last time I had bean soup and salad.. and dinner for 3 was only $7 or so, tonight it was 9.90, but I had fajitas for one with leftovers... galore... so that was not too bad... for a monday night... <p>I hope and pray h is thinking of me... I will continue on my consistency pattern and not call him tonight... another one of my big sins... I call too much.. funny I never did when we were married... he complained I did not pay enough attention to him... <p>OH, another wonderful thing I found out... H quit the dart league... since his team was going to play against the ow slu+.. she got him into bars and darts... wowo, waht a winner woman, right? I am so glad he quit as this dart leaque issue was eating at me.. he promised me it was all male.. then all the sudden he is going to play her? I still do not understand that issue... but glad he is staying away from sl++face... herself...<p>anyway... I just can't stand the dirt and fitlth this little ho pulled my h into... but off he went... and now that I start to pull back I think... oh, I could do better... i do not need this crap from a man... ???<p>Anyway, I am sad that I do start to feel... do I even want him anymore... I guess this is when they start to want to come home... not when we are desperate , but when we are tired...<p>all of his crzy excuses why he left and why he cheated point to me me me... not him... and that is what I am sick over... sick sick sick... but when he walked up tongiht.. handsome as ever...a t least to me... I am still as attracted to him as ever... and I know he is me too... there is incredible chemistry between us... but sadly... I think this man is just a womanize.r... good lookingdrunk??/ help... I think I am going to die... how can such a handsome intelligent guy ruin his life with the bottle... I think he needed this woman to feel like more of am an since I dump on him... or have been down on him over his lack of success etc... the other thing that kills me is he sd my looks and domestic skills were down.. HELLO, I was ill? I still don't see why he doesn't see... he has known me so o long.. and my illness.. I guess we were aoubt 1 yr. and 1/2 alomst 2 yrs into it when he cheated and he had just turned 34... oh boy, he is getting old... so sad... when I loved him so much and trusted him so much.. I am starting to let go and thinking... maybe I need a new H who really loves me... tired of wondering , being hurt by the person I loved the most... and betrayed by my best friend..
everyone thanks for the kind wonderful support and ESPECIALLY The REMINDER of CONSISTENCY... I need to not break down and go nuts... tired of that myself.... I have done enough mental breakdown for a lifetime... starting to think I can be cool undr the worst circumstances...<p>I think even some of the paremts who know about my H and his sowing the wild oats.. as one grandmother put it... who knew what he did... were amazed at how kind and cool I was to this cheater! and man who has not been to one of his son's games in 2 seasons practically... well he took son to one game last season without me.. and supposedly he sat in car drinking beer.. and this game he showed sober and handsome... walked up with our sweet 3 yr old sleeping and sat by me for 1 hr... except to get up to smoke... bad habit... but I can't break it for him... it goes with the drinking and all his insecurities and addictive personality ... he talked aobut how his family would not let him play baseball as a kid tonight... ? I do not even get it... except his dad was too busy fooling around with women or cheating on his wife... go figure...????
or getting drunk??? this is his dad the lawyer/liar... drunk who has dealt drugs who pretends he is this big lawyer.. and walks on water???? big FAKE>.. but his son does not totally see it... <p>anyway... I am sorry... for making this long.. I lingered onto diff. thoughts... thanks to all of you... I am tempted to call h... it is sad to hear him talk of how his family did not treat him right... and let him play... bball, but sadder to see he does not want to be there for his own son... maybe the dots connect???? he wants our son to play football since at least he plyaed that in high school and knows more about it... I think h feels strange that he does not know al; that much aobut bball, even my dad played little league... <p>hey my dad took a third basemans place on a local team... after he joined the majors... not bad, huh? problem is my dad is sooo greaqt...it is hard for my h to live up to him... sad... for my h... anyway.... <p>I do love my poor confused h, and see how confused i am too... <p>I will quit putting my thougts out here... what a bore for you folkds... how the mind wanders... <p>going to spend time with the kids watching tv after baths and before bed.. the 2 boys took their baths while I cked mb! see it is all under control!<p>Thanks and goodnight! Honey (Boy am I tempted to call H... but I will wait until he calls me.. .this feels like when we dated.. mom and dad taught me not to call boys! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] )

Which Mexican restaurant??? Was it La HAcienda? I heard it's good .....although I am a former northerner and really don't like Mexican food (love the chips and queso)....one of my H's complaints......<p>Hang in there and DO NOT CALL YOUR H!!!!!!! You can do it!!<p>MAX [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Max, remind me ... you are local right? we went to del pueblo.. yummy place.. it was so good... thanks for the tips... I have done good not calling... I am so sick of the situation unless he is acitng normal myself these days... I have had it with all the flying anger... etc from the A... and that is what my H's issues are with... <p>anyway, hugs again, HOney

Yes, I am local! I am glad your doing good today. My H and I are back to talking. I am really mad at him. I don't know what is better. Rec'd an invoice from my lawyer today............when all of this is done...I am going to call her a CROOK!!! It is amazing what they charge you for....and I am not even divorced and I have done most of the work!!! <p>ANyway....it seems like we will be divorced pretty soon. He walks into the house tonight with my son (I knew he was coming)...and compliments me on my hair. Geez....he runs so ot and cold...I know he is not coming back but he is totally nuts!!!<p>Have a good day tomorrow!
MAX [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi FSAlone... is he the one involved with the ow in the nw area, cypress? my part of town? sorry I think I am right, but not sure... <p>I am sorry you are divorcing, I know how awaful it is... yes, crzy, I think the h's still care for their wives... even when they leave... it does not make sense... ?<p>H

Yes, he lives in Cypress. Remember we considered toilet papering his house....but he probably doesn't have any trees since it is a BRAND BEW HOUSE in a brand bew neighorhood. He's a ****head!!!We looked at houses a year ago...got new tile...new table...new bed..new entertainment center....should I go on??????? Oh yeah...3 weeks before he left...he bought me a new Expedition........life is funny... [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Talk to you soon! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
MAX

Hi Max, My H and I were about to add on to our house and we went looking at cars too, he was going to buy me a mercedes suv... but that day...he was just not happy... he told me so when we were looking at cars... there was something wrong... and he was just not happy... little did I know... it was the beginning of his wanint her more... which was what was making him happy.... I do not know ... but my H accussed me of just wanting him to provide for me... etc. and not appreciating him... well, I did not know... I guess miss adoring ____face at work... did not at that point want his paycheck etc. funny she dropped him like a hot potato when he lost his job... and stuck around with her husband who provided for her.<p>I am so sorry about your H... yes I do remember... I remembered MAX, but not your screen name... sorry.... I have to remember. I hope you are doing better. If you ever want to meet for lunch , etc. let me know... that would be fun... email me privately at lbarfield@houston.rr.com <p>I am really sorry... hey, I am a MK Lady... do you want me to call the ow and schedule a free facial...and come back and give you a report.... I can take before and after photso... including pics of the house... inside..<p>SOrry, I guess that is a little psycho... I fantasized about facialing the OW in my life... and her not knowing who I was... (PLEASE don't think MK ladies are psycho!)<p>Anyway... I still have a 10 yr. old son who would love to paper a house... the ow I know lives in the heights... feel like papering over there! I have had horrible worse fantasies of flattening her tires... etc. things I don't even want to do! but it just feels you with so much anger.<p>I am trying to let go of the energy I give the OW... and give her no power at all... which honestly ... she is such a loath.. and a scum... it is just not worth it....<p>Thanks for being here... I hope to hear from you and would love to meet! Honey