Dear Jo,<p>You know me. Remember that when you read this. I adore you, and I respect you. I have no hidden agenda in asking this. I just care.<p>I've noticed that over the last few months the questions about delving into your WH's mind have been getting more frequent. It's as if you're still trying to make sense out of his actions and you think you'll be able to figure it out if you ask in enough different ways. <p>Jo, you can't figure him out. Only HE can tell you why he did what he did. <p>My WS or someone else's WS will not be YOUR WS. There are as many different reasons for having affairs (aside from the #1 reason - selfishness) as there are people.<p>Are all the questions, and more importantly, the answers helping you?

Hi Sheryl,<p>My "inquiry" was not a sweeping "statement" regarding all WSs. I was gleaning the membership of the D/D forum to see if anyone else had experienced the same. <p>The prior thread I started before that was regarding "Female Innovation" getting along as a single person SUCCESSFULLY (dated April 9th) and the one prior to that was asking what others answer when asked "Why are you Divorced" (dated April 7th).<p>Sheryl, I think these are pretty valid Divorce/Divorcing questions. Not everyone's timeline is the same in terms of healing.<p>Most my posts in the last few months have been support of others and up-lifting threads, such as "Whats your Fav Movie".<p>I'm not obssessing any longer regarding my ex-H. I do still hurt, of course, but I am very resolved in being single and acceptive of my new life and new beginning.<p>The responses I get do help me, because if someone comes on there, as they did, and in a vague way respond so I see I'm being judgmental of my ex-H, then I've learned something about myself and in-turn grow ... hopefully.<p>When someone comes on and posts a thread regarding their ex, they have an opportunity to learn something about themselves, if their mind is open to it. And mine is. Trying or not trying to figure "HIM" out isn't the goal. The goal is to understand "why" we let it bother us, and then move forward from there to the next thing. We don't always hear what we'd like to hear, but sometimes growth is painful.<p>Are you sure this doesn't have something to do with my latest thread??? I had no intention of offending or hurting you Sheryl, or any other member or WS here. I feel a degree of empathy for WS's, and always have. <p>
Love,
Jo

You didn't hurt me!!<p>No, my concern is more about trying to find out your H's mind... and I think there's just no doing that... that's all.<p>Honest.<p>HUGS!!

Hugs back to you ... thank you for being concerned about me.<p>Don't forget to watch Ren and Stimpy!<p>Jo

Ladies - I KNOW what's going on in their brains!!<p>MBWs, remember?<p>Dave