How do you let go and move on? And how long does it take? <p>I have been trying to let go/move on from my EA and fantasy for more than a year. But there's a part of me that doesn't want to move on. I kind of like the fantasy…but there's another part of me that is so freaking tired of thinking about the OM and what he said, why he said it, what did he really mean, what if I had done this instead, etc, etc., processing and picking apart every aspect of all of our interactions…I know it's over, I will never contact the OM again, so why do I do this? Does any one else do this? It's like an obsession and I'm tired of it, but can't seem to let completely go of it? Any mind tricks you play to help you move on? Or do people still think about the OM/OW long after they stop the PA or the EA?

Ashirley,<p>I'm sorry you feel stuck. I have been stuck several times as a BS in analyzing my ex-H. It can be disturbing. <p>Can I suggest you perhaps look into anti-deps? From what you have described you sound somewhat depressed. <p>I hated having to take AD, I kicked and screamed about it for months upon months (I can be pretty stubborn), but I finally gave in and soooooo glad I did. It got me moving forward and helped me cope, also helped with obsessing. <p>I was afraid if I took AD I wouldn't "feel" normal, and in addition I'm just opposed to taking anything synthetic if I can help it. I'm a cancer survivor and I consider my body a temple. <p>But I still feel stuff, I cry, I feel down, but it's all manageable and not overwhelming. <p>See your doc and explore the possibilities, Hon.<p>Love,
Jo<p>[ April 10, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Resilient,
Thanks for your response to my post. I am on an anti-depressent, and have been for 5 years, but perhaps I need to switch kinds or add another. I wonder if there's one that addresses the obsessive/compulsive tendencies that I have.
Anyway,thanks again for your thoughts.