I am good friends with two married couples. I strongly suspect that the wife of Couple A and the husband of Couple B have an inappropriate friendship / are having an emotional affair.<p>As a friend, should I mind my own business or speak to someone. If I should speak to someone, should I speak to the ones with the inappropriate friendship or should I speak to the other partner(s).<p>If I should speak to someone, what should I say?

My pat answer to this is to send the respective EA participants of both couple A & B the book, Surviving an Affair.<p>Best,
Jo<p>P.S. EA = Emotional Affair<p>[ April 11, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

OOOH, Good one. I'm still trying to formulate a suggestion. I want you to know that we are here to help.<p>As a BS, I wish SOMEONE would have hinted to me. No one knew the depth of it, but several people knew my WH and a coworker were flirting too heavily in public. Maybe something like "John and Sue sure seem to be getting along well at work lately. Are they really close friends?" A statement like that would have made me start asking him some questions, if nothing else. <p>And remember as an outside observer, it is not up to you to prove anything, neither do you have any evidence other than a hunch to offer.<p>Further advice, Don't set up parties or what not in which you help the EA along by placing the 2 participants together. (Unless you think by doing so the Betrayed Spouses will have their eyes opened.) Furthermore, don't become obsessed with this. If you aren't careful you could lose 4 friends over an incorrect hunch.

I think you should speak to one or both of the "offenders". Tell them that you may be reading too much into their relationship, but that you are concerned that their friendship might be inappropriate. You might print some of the materials from the MB web-site that discuss EA's, and have it available if they question why you think it's inappropriate.<p>Be very gentle - your hunch may be wrong - but nothing wrong with asking one or both of them about it.<p>How do you know them? The reason I ask is that it may be possible to leave HNHN, SAA, or some printed materials from this web-site out for them. My concern with mailing to their homes is it may cause undo concern in the possible betrayed spouse - in casse there really is nothing damaging going on.

As BS, I would like to have know earlier.<p>DearPeggy has a good article on this subject. In a nutshell, are BS's ready to HEAR?
also, could talk to the Ws's & find out what is going on then tell them that If they don't tell you will. <p>I've not really dealt with this from that end.

Unfortunately, I was right about this and I do not need to confront anyone as the husband of the wife in the EA has now confronted her on his own.<p>I wish I was wrong because this is causing 4 close friends a lot of pain.<p>Thanks for your advise.