Lor, Thanks for replying. Just wondering, did you have any of the fears I expressed while separated? Although your H may have told you he didn't love you, did you really believe him?

Terrified,
I had all those fears and more, all those feelings of powerlessness. But, defining them does help. And also knowing that though I couldn't control how my H treated me or his actions, I could choose how I was going to react.<p>He did tell me he didn't love me, couldn't live with me, didn't want to be married to me, and that I wasn't attractive. It was the last one that tipped me off that he was a little out of his mind, I'm very attractive [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] (ignore how arrogant that sounds) men, others tell me so all the time, I get propositions...so if that part wasn't true, I did have some doubts about the rest. And, actually what he meant was I wasn't currently attractive to him. And, I lost some weight, started working out, got blonde & tan & buff...<p>But truthfully, I still get a little irritated that 15 pounds made a difference. If someone loves you, they love you, no matter? Plus, I'm over 40, have arthritis, my attractiveness is not likely to increase over time.<p>But confronting that, led me to try to figure out the other things I fear. And what I can do about them or choose to think about them.