Please comment on plan B letter.....Thank you in advance to all that take the time to read and respond.<p>Dear WH,<p>Thank you for being part of the last 27 years of my life. The road we have traveled together, I know has not always been an easy one, but it has been full of countless joys, love, happiness and blessings. We have been each others support emotionally, physically, spiritually and business, in both good times and bad. You were my rock that I needed in my life to give me strength to face whatever life had in store. <p>Now we find ourselves in a place that nether one of us would have imagined. Since learning about the affairs with OW 1 and OW 2, I have tried to look at myself from your perspective and have recognized in the past that my behavior, namely, taking you for granted, being a terrible housekeeper, not a great disciplinarian with the kids, went overboard with religion, but most of all I didn’t understand what it took to have a successful and fulfilling relationship. This contributed to your unhappiness and the emotional distance that grew between us.<p>I am grateful that I have been able to see these behaviors in a new light. As I believe that you have noticed, I’ve taken responsibility for my actions and have used the last few months to learn and change them for the better. I want to be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, but most of all a better person.<p>I believe in you. I believe in our marriage. I believe we can have a marriage based on trust and honesty where we both feel safe sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings and dreams. I believe knowing our mistakes that we can learn from them and with a true commitment, we can rebuild the love that is still inside both our hearts. <p>I love you with all of my heart, but it is breaking every day with you living 1200 miles away and seeing OW 1 and OW 2 , and basically living like you are single. I am willing to avoid the mistakes I have made in the past and create a new life for the both of us, that will meet your needs, but I can’t do that until you end your relationships with OW 1 and OW 2 once and for all. As soon as you are willing to permanently separate yourself from OW 1 and OW2, and we come up with a jointly agreed to a marriage recovery plan suggested by Steve Harley, then I will be willing to discuss our future together. Until then I will avoid seeing you or talking to you.<p>I hope you understand that I am not doing this to hurt or punish you, but to protect my love for you and any chance of reconciliation in the future. I ask that you respect my decision to separate this way. I simply cannot share you. <p>I want us to rebuild our marriage someday. I want us to make each other happy and be able to meet each others emotional needs. I loved you the first time I saw you at the TKE house. You did something to me deep down inside like no one else. I love you when I married you. I loved you when I had our kids. I love you today.<p>All my love, XXX<p>To: OW 1 & OW 2 : I love WH with all my heart and am willing to do whatever it takes to make him happy. I will wait for him to give me the chance. <p>--------------------------------------------------
Business – Will continue since we are working in different locations. (As well as our financial situation) I ask that you do as much as possible through Gail, email and faxes.<p>Kids – You are welcome to see them / call them as much as you like. I ask that you don’t see them at the house. If you come to Florida, you’ll need to find somewhere else to stay.<p>Finances – do pretty much like we have been doing. Gail is making headway on the financial info & can communicate that to you. I will email or send you the bills you normally pay & any correspondence

Ok, since I'm not exactly familiar with Plan B letters and how they should or shouldn't be written, simply take what you like from this, as it is simply my opinion.<p>I wouldn't write to the OWs. They are not worth your time or effort. Ignore them, their feelings, their thoughts, their very existence, as they have you.<p>As for the rest of the letter; I think it sounds great.<p>I hope this helps. Be strong, and continue to grow for you. Take care, and good luck.

WillGetThruThis,<p>I happen to be an "expert" in Plan B letters, having written one myself, as well as proofing dozens of others on these boards.<p>This is the first one that I've ever said "ship it", without revisions. It looks great to me!

K,<p>Wow, Im impressed! Thanks for your input.
I wrote the letter to be prepared for the near future. It won't be sent yet. I'm going to re-evaluate after next visit of WH.<p>Isn't it funny how we become "experts" at this subject? [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

tutter13,<p>I am debating about this myself, but It came from the plan b letter in the book surviving An Affair by the Harley's.<p>My fear is that OW1 will share it with the group of friends that all hang out together & have since HS and that they will laugh at what I fool I am trying to hold on to this guy.<p>Before I snd the letter, I am going to run it by Steve Harley. He has been great helping me to stay focused and to work through a plan (for me) and hopefully my M.<p>Thanks for your response. <p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Bumping for more responses - please<p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

Bump bump bump - any responses? Please [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

WillGetThruThis,<p>Trust me... it's great. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And if you're working with Steve, I'd just get his input. And I'm guessing that he'll tell you it's fine, too.

WGTT,<p>You did bloody good for first draft. I agree with K, no modifications needed here either.<p>You didn't miss any of the important elements. Great job, you did your homework.<p>Love,
Jo<p>[ April 14, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

K & Kesilient,<p>Thanks for your responses. I did do my homework, looking at as many plan b letters that I could find taking a little bit from the best ones. <p>god Bless [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]