Hello, You used to know me as "Wheat". I came back again to talk. Well as some of you know, I found out in October that my husband had some sort of an affair with a girl underage. He is 47 I am 40. We just now had our 3rd wedding anniversary{yahoo} and together for 10. Well the day before my birthday in December I found porn pictures he had taken of "her". Well I nearly had a nervous breakdown then if I hadn't already from the "affair". Well guess what? He wanted to divorce ME! Well stupid me begged to stay-can you believe it? Well we had it out several times suffice it to say. He told me he was just a "dirty old man". As I recall he did apologize, but really wanted the subject dropped for good. Well that is easy for him to say. He really couldn't believe I think that I wanted to stay. Well one day I brought up something and we had it out and he told me to leave. So the next day I was outside packing my truck bed with some outside things of mine. I had been out there awhile and then he came out and asked what I was doing. I told him I was packing my things to go. He said"oh you aren't going anywhere, I just don't want to be hassled all the time." Well there you go. I did try to leave and he did not want me to. Now so I find "her" number all the time on his cell phone bill and confront him. He said that she was probably just doing something for him. She is associated with a business that he has. I asked repeatedly for him to be honest with me and he said he was. Well I am sorry this is so long, but my other problem is his porn which I have discussed here before. He has hundreds and hundreds of tapes and magazines. Now we just recently got a computer so he is looking at all the naked pictures on there. Whenever I say anything about it, he gets very angry. He told me he has been addicted to it for at least 20 yrs perhaps more. He has no intention of quitting I am sure. He thinks it is harmless. The words spoken before his affair regarding porn were "at least I am not having an affair". Well we have not had sex for greater than 1 year- I can't even remember anymore. I doubt that he wants to. I have learned to deal with that. I don't even dare try to get him to have sex with me anymore. Don't suggest couseling because neither of us will go. I read Dr's book "His Needs, Her Needs". I thought it was terrific, I asked him to read it and he refused. Now tell me am I completely CRAZY to stay with him or what? He says that he still cares and I think I do mostly, but I am getting more confused. I think the porn is probably one of the biggest things in his secret life. We are close in that we have a very large amt of animals that we care for and love. We have no children. If you ask me porn is for immature people. Personally I think he is very selfish but he doesn't think so. Well enough jabber. If anyone has any insight it will be greatly appreciated as you can't really talk about this with just anyone person to person. Thanks Vessi