I believe we are working on our relationship - We are together more, going out more, having sex more - I'm trying very hard to meet his EN's and seem to be doing it. Now for the problem.... He wont talk to me about how he feels, the OW, his depression, anything... the other night he came home from his counelor and I asked "how did it go?" the answer was standard - "Ok, I guess" so that night were in bed and I say to him "ok - I have to ask, how are you feeling?" the answer - "I'm ok lately - why?" so I tell him, I just need to know where we stand, if I'm giving him the space he needs or if I'm doing anything that we need to work on? and his answere once again - is no were ok. but are we? I hate not getting input, its very frustrating! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm afraid to ask about "OW" because I know he will get mad at me - he has once before stated that he wont talk to me about her - I have to believe that they are not seeing each other (but they still work together)but he's been coming home at the right times or calling if he is working late (and yes I check to see if he is). I know I need to be patient - D-day was only 2 months ago and after reading some of the problems other people here have I have it pretty good right now but for some reason it doesnt make this any easier.

oH, my goodness... so sorry d day is your wedding anniversary... but at least he had the good sense to sto this on d day , right? So sorry... have you read men are from mars women are from venus...? most men retreat to their cave when they have an issue... us women want to talk... and they don't... <p>maybe that helps... give it time, and don't push too hard. Hugs, Honey

Thank you for the support - yes it wasnt the best of wedding anniversary's but I guess it really doesnt matter what day it happens on - no matter when, It SUCKS! I will have to ready that book, I've heard that its good.<p>I asked my H on Saturday Night how he was? We were in bed and I asked him to hold cuddle with me and of course he couldnt do that, his answer was "I've never been a cuddler why would I start new?" and where is all this coming from? I told him I that I just needed a little bit more from him, that I loved the fact that he was still with me and seemed to be trying but I just need reasurance once in a while that he isnt going anyplace. He told me that he is just taking things one day at a time and cant promise me anymore than that and wans't that enough for me? My answer --- No, Maybe its not enough and he told me that it was going to have to be because he couldnt give me more than that. I guess I should be happy - he does seem to be trying, why can't I just be happy?

i know you are not gonna want to hear this-i sure didnt- you have to be patient. this all takes time and you are very early on in this. it took a long time to derail the marriage, its gonna take a while to set things right. be patient and do things for you. he may not be ready yet.

I know - I need to be more patient, its just really hard - His A and wanting to leave was like a wake up call to me - It made me realize what I was about to lose and what we had lost in our relationship and made me want it all back (and want it NOW). <p>Most days I feel as if were recovering, we have even talked about our vacation this summer but that nagging doubt in the back of my mind keeps me from being truly happy. I still panic every time he is even a few minutes late getting home or when I do something that he has stated bothered him in the past. (stupid things like reading a book or talking on the phone). <p>I reciently stated that there needs to be rules to surviving an A and recovering - rules that everyone has to follow! It would make this so much easier. <p>Thanks for listening and letting me vent - It's nice to know that there are people out there who know what I'm going through and actually understand. I'm very new at MB's but have found it to be a great source of strength.