Hi Nikko! Neat to find thread w/my name. Someone cares. I was so busy during the past week with my daughter's bday that I haven't had a chance to get on the computer! Had a luau last fri night for 6 yr old daughter's bday. Then my niece slept over and we went to Great Adventure amusement park sat. with my girl scout troop (Daisies). We were there 9am tp 8 pm - me and 4 kids ages 10,6,3 & 1! Yes I am insane. But we had a blast. Then sun. was our school's mother-daughter social. My daisy troop were greeters. Too Cute!!!
Then I had to bake cupcakes for school (4 Tues) and clean and prepare to have family over on tues - her actual birthday. Talk about a whirlwind week! It was a nice distraction though I guess. Unfortunately I was so busy I forgot to take my prozac pretty much all week. So by Thursday I was really a mess. The meds thing combined with the shock of the A wearing off. As well as my H avoiding the subject of renewing our vows. Thurs I had and indiv counciling session (first one) and boy was it a doozy considering all that was going on. Thursday was actually the first time I considered the fact that maybe the marriage wouldn't make it. I was just as upset as when I first found out. Turns out that H is having a problem being open about how he feels with me. He said that he knows that it is important for us to talk about things but that it is HARD for HIM! Hard for HIM!!! He said he will try harder. He said that he is fine with renewing our vows> he wasn't sure how he felt, then he decided that there was a priest that he would be comfortable asking (he'll see him on retreat memorial day weekend) and then he was thinkinbg aabout surprising me. Sometimes men just don't get it! I even gave him an opening on thurs am before I got really upset. I told him that The vow thing was very important to me and if he was planning something regarding it to surprise me to please tell me that he is fine with doing it and that he is taking care of it. I told him that thinking that it was something that he didn't want to do was making it very hard for me to wear my wedding ring. He gave me the hurt, tearfilled puppydog eyes and said nothing. Now I'm just mad at him for letting me suffer all day long thinking that our marriage didn't have a chance.<p>I know that it is hard for men to talk about how they feel sometimes. It was an annoying part of our relationship before the A. After the A, I really think that it could be detrimental to the marriage. I think that my #1 EN right now is for him to be open with me.<p>I'm sorry I'm really going on & on here.<p>I've been emailing back & forth w/JAI. Maybe that 's why she hasn't been here much lately. I don't know but she seems to be hanging in there.<p>I have read lately that the biggest threat to a marriage is a childfocussed family. We are trying to focus more on us, me & H. I actually emailed your thread about affection to H. It's an issue for us too. He is physically affectionate a lot, but shuts himself off emotionally and doesn't really do anything toward that end of affection. I always feel like it's just a ploy for sex. Our problem is that we have completely different definitions of affection...<p>Glad to touch base with you again. How are you?
