Tomorrow is the former OW's last day on the job and I felt like celebrating until I realized how distant my H has been all week.<p>He usually calls me in the morning to see how things are going and again when the kids get home from school. This week the phone calls have become nonexistent. I call him and he cuts it short claiming to be busy and says he'll call back soon but doesn't. Today my daughter called when she came in from school and said "Mommy wants to talk to you" (I didn't say that to her). I took the phone and here was the conversation:<p>Me: Hi
Him: "what do you need?"
Me: Nothing I haven't talked to you all day
Him: It's been busy
Me: Well ok
Him: Is that all?
Me: No not really. I'm feeling pushed away and you are being so distant
Him: I'm not. I'm busy
Me: I think you're punishing me because D (former OW) is quitting
Him" I thought that would be good news for you
Me: It is for me but you seem to not be happy about it
Him: You're imagining things again
Me: (still calm) No I didn't imagine the A and I'm not imaging this either
Him: Anything else?
Me: No you're not willing to face this still so I'll let it go
Him: There's nothing to face. Maybe you feel guilty that she quit
Me: Guilty? No sorry this is her choice just as getting involved with you was her choice. No one gave me a choice
Him" Oh yeah poor you<p>Now I realize he's angry and I'm quickly becoming angry too.<p>Me: Ok "H" I'm going to go finish washing the windows
Him" Ok go build another fantasy while you're at it
Me: Look I'm tired of this blame. You need to either decide to go for counseling with me or you need to talk to an attorney. I'm not going to live with you constantly telling me this is my fault and my overactive imagination
Him: If you want a divorce go for it
Me: That's never what I wanted
Him" Then drop it and drop the counseling suggestions
Me: I can't do that
Him: Fine Miss bada-s call and make an appointment for counseling and if I have time I'll go
Me: Ok I'll do that
Him: Never mind I'm tired of this
CLICK he hung up<p>I'm so at a loss as to what to do. Things have been going so good lately and now this. Did I over react? Any opinions?<p>I shuld add that former OW has told everyone she knows that she had to quit because I made her life too hard by harassing her. I have never harasssed her.<p>[ April 12, 2002: Message edited by: TinyDancer ]</p>

When I first joined, you were one of the ones to respond to my post about if it was possible to recover or not if the WS and OP were coworkers. Also to my question someone had told me that even if the PA ended on D-day, the EA would not and might become stronger. Whoever that was was right in my case and there was a d-day 2 months later. It wasn't PA, but he still craved their "friendship." My guess is that your H has beed having the friendship met through seeing her at work and is now going through the start of true withdrawl. That's just my guess. I'd step back for a while, plan A, and let him "grieve" her leaving. Now if there is continued contact AFTER she has left, you know that at least the EA was never really over. Then you have to decide what to do from there.<p>Good luck!

Thanks WeR trying. They never got as far as a PA, only an EA which was bad enough. They are having trouble finding a replacement for her and she has refused to stay even 1 minute longer. She knows I have "won" and she can't stand being there. <p>H called me back and discussed us and the kids going out to dinner just as if the prior conversation never took place. I think all WS and former WS have some kind of bugs in their brains. Sorry not meant to offend anyone but I seriously don't think they think like the rest of us,

TD:<p>"I think all WS and former WS have some kind of bugs in their brains. Sorry not meant to offend anyone but I seriously don't think they think like the rest of us"<p>I don't think this would offend any FWS, as they can look back at the fog and see it for what it was. But maybe it's not bugs in their brains. Maybe it's actually Bug Brains! I feel that way about my W sometimes. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]