It has only been three weeks and the pain is unbearable. My ex-fiancee has sent me mixed messages but she has moved on with her life and seems very happy. She told me she was confused and wanted to think about things. I did my best to reconcile but seems as if she is keeping me hanging on. Her friends told me last night that 1) they think she is already seeing someone else 2) that I was the first and only person she dated when she moved to Florida and she wants to see what else is out there. They also told me to cut her off if I want her back. They said it is a turn off when a guy is sappy? This is contrary to Plan A isn't it I am a little confused about this. <p> know time heals all wounds but the pain is too much to bear. I haven't missed work but I cant sleep through the night and have lost 20 pounds already. I cant afford to lose anymore weight. I went to a Doctor and he gave me sleeping pills but I still cant sleep more than 4 hours. He also gave me some anti-depressents but they don't seem to be working because I am extremely depressed. I have been forcing myself to workout and go out with friends but I am hurting beyond anything I could imagine possible. We were supposed to get married in AUgust.

Anyway I have to know the quickest way to get over this. I don't want to go thru this intense pain for a year. I dont want to cry everyday. I want to be happy now, I dont want to sit her and dwell on things and wishing she would come back to me. I know it will not be gone overnight but I wish someone who is older and wiser would give me a shortcut to get over this.

Hi --
I am sorry for the pain you are in as seen in your post.<p>You wrote --<p>I wish someone who is older and wiser would give me a shortcut to get over this. <p>I don't think that I qualify for the wiser or older, but I often cried for a way to get over this quickly. But, truthfully, there is no shortcut. You must deal with this and grieve and time will heal. My H left me 2 months ago. There are days where I am not totally consumed by my grief, and that is definitely better than at first. But, there are days where I am still very upset and must allow myself to grieve. You are right in that staying busy, doing things for yourself and for others will help and the pain will become less with time.<p>Well, I know these are not any great words of wisdom, but just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Hrtbroken,
Sorry to tell you, but there are no shortcuts. Take care of yourself, stay busy, find a support system (family, friends, new acitvities, sports), and think about making yourself better. That is the only way you'll get through this. Believe me, I know, becuase I've been there...but it's OK to cry, it's OK to feel sad, but it's NOT ok for that to be the only thing...get up, go out, have some fun, see other people...time will help you.