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#993684 04/14/02 10:12 PM
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<p>[ May 08, 2002: Message edited by: MD ]</p>

#993685 04/14/02 10:29 PM
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love is both (when it is actually love) it is feelings expressed in actions...actions do not imply feelings cause we can make ourselves do anything....but feelings do not lie (allthough one can misinterpret them)....feelings are vitally important in understanding our current well-being....and should not be ignored. Your H is not completely wrong, many people do live as he says, they settle for each other, and the marriage is a contract, you do me, I will do you.... and they consider that love...works fine as long as both accept that worldview, the trouble is when one does and one does not (wants the deep emotional connections of vulnerability,safety,passion etc.).

#993686 04/15/02 11:47 PM
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Read the following to get a Biblical perspective on the issue:[/url=What is Real Love?]http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/ds/q0714/[/url]<p>Hope this helps. It is mostly action and caring for the other person. Some would say that the person doing the loving is a doormat. Jesus was not a doormat and He showed us what love really is.<p>[ April 15, 2002: Message edited by: professorg ]</p>

#993687 04/15/02 11:56 PM
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professor, you must leave a space before starting the url, then it will work right.<p>http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/ds/q0714/

#993688 04/16/02 12:08 AM
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<p>[ May 08, 2002: Message edited by: MD ]</p>

#993689 04/16/02 12:22 AM
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most love is possesion md, and a spouse will say/do whatever it takes to keep the other from moving the relationship to the other side of the marital boundary (divorce)....they don't really care what you want, they care what they want...if you really love something you set it free, completely free, and if it comes back, then true love exists (this is not my notion, it is in many self-help books too)...you cannot love what you seek to bind through coercion (guilting) or manipulation of any kind. Your H is "addicted" to you, and if you are not likewise addicted, then what? Be property? That is the tradjedy of "love" their is no gaurantee, it either works or it doesn't, and we all know the difference....so after all the self-introspection is doen, all the counselling complete....if you don't love someone (as opposed to care about them)...then you don't, and such is the risk we take in trying to bond by marriage before we are really sure this is the one....or worse, are decieved by the masks we all wear.<p>[ April 16, 2002: Message edited by: sad_n_lonely ]</p>


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