I am new to this. Not sure if this is the right place for me. I have read so many posts and none seem to be from the wife who cheated.<p>This is me. I have told my husband and we are trying to work thru it. He has been wonderful, has showed me just how wonderful. <p>Tried to kill myself, took alot of pills. Did't work. That is how it felt to me.<p>The OM wants nothing to do with me, and I can't stop thinking about him.<p>Please someone help!!! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Wow, I don't know what to say to you... lots of things come to mind. #1: You have come to the right place. When you have time, time spent here is always good. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] The people here are very friendly; sometimes hard on ya, but in good faith.<p>What pain are you feeling that caused you to want to take your own life? Please do not be afraid of the thoughts and feelings that are going through your head. Chances are that there are many people out there with the same thoughts/feelings as you.
****BIG HUG*****K, I know there is one. I tried to take my life. First time I have told anyone is now. It was a couple of months ago. I was in my car and wanted to crash it. I am the WS. I feel/felt so many feelings. Of course, all bad. These feelings will pass but only if you allow yourself to feel the hurt and pain that you have in you.<p>Please take care of yourself. Love yourself through the crisis you are in. I know this is hard, but it is helping me. I found through reading a book (In the Meantime), that I abandoned myself years ago. Now, I am interested in who I am and what I like am interested in loving myself again (well, I don't think I have ever have).<p>I will tell you something. It doesn't matter what you have done. It does not matter that you have made mistakes. Everyone does. You are a beautiful person. You are a good person. "You" need to believe this. [/B][B]Your are a beautiful person. You are a good person.<p>Hang in there, and hope to see you around.

Sure, you're in a GREAT place! There are some WW's here (WW = Wayward Wife), and I'm sure they will be along at some point to offer you a hand.<p>First - when did you take the pills? How are you doing now? Have you two seen a counselor? WHen did you confess to your H?<p>I'm soooo glad he loves you and you are working together on your marriage!!! That should make you feel GREAT!!! <p>Please read as much as you can on the marriagebuilders web-site, as well as the posts on this forum. THere's a couple of good "starting" links in my signature line.<p>Tell us a little more about yourself, if you like, and will your H come here to read and recieve some support as well?<p>Well, I gave you lots of questions (sorry!) [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] ...<p>Your marriage can be put back together and be better than it was! You've done the RIGHT thing by telling your husband!!! PLEASE avoid ALL CONTACT with the OM. This is NECESSARY to give your marriage a chance. Your feelings of withdrawal will subside with time... think of the OM as POISON to your marriage and to your future. FOcus on the love you have for you H and family (do you have kids?), and the way you both can learn to meet each other's needs.<p>Keep posting... we'll try to help you!

Kirpy,
You did good! Admitting it, and showing you want to work on your marriage is a step I'm begging for my W to take. It's very hard to do that, so you should be glad you did. The fact that your H did not "go wild" is even better...I sure did when I found out about it...and now I'm paying for it. Since he supports you, that means he's thankful for your honesty and is willing to forgive and to help you, so work on your marriage, get some counseling, and keep the communication open. That will help you through this. Our best wishes!

Kirpy, you are in the right place. There aren't as many wayward spouses (or WS, what we call the cheating spouse) here as there are betrayed spouses (BS). But one thing MarriageBuilders posters want is for marriages to succeed,the other is for the WS or BS to recover and grow, even if the marriage doesn't make it.<p>You've already got some good things going for you, you've been honest, your husband knows and he's being wonderful. And, believe it or not, the OM not wanting anything to do with you, as much as it hurts, is a blessing in disguise because with him out of the picture, you can take a better look at your marriage, and at your husband, the situation that led you into choosing to have an affair, and make better decisions about the future of your marriage than if you are in contact with the OM.<p>You may not right now be able to stop quick thoughts of the OM, but you can choose not to dwell on them. You can re-direct your thoughts, you can call your H or talk to him. You can start new activities, hobbies, paint the house, learn a foreign language...you can post here until your posts number in the thousands [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>If you still "can't" stop thinking of him...well, it's actually that you "won't" stop...you are making a choice about what you think about, we all do, constantly.<p>I think you'll find a good support group here.

Thank you for your responses. I sat here watching all these responses to other posts and started getting that feeling....<p>I must explain a little about me first. Before I had this affair I was a very strong person. Always happy, always busy, always on top of things. Now, I have learned from so much pain that I would tell someone that it is better to cut your arm off than to have an affair.<p>I know I must stop thinking about the other man. I am lucky to that he is in another country and there is no chance of seeing each other. <p>I need time and thank god that my husband is so forgiving. He told me he understood and that he knows that he pushed me to an affair. That I have been telling him for years what I wanted and he didn't listen.<p>I have been married for 15 years and together with him for 20. We have 2 boys 14 1/2 and 11. <p>I will keep reading, just the time today has made me realize more that fantasy is not reality.