There's a lot of natural misery & turmoil here, so let's share the things we do to lift our spirits,  positively re-direct our thoughts & gain control over emotions.<p>Here's mine:<p>*In my office, I have pictures of my husband & daughters in  various moods. I love looking at their faces.<p>*My calendar is a daily Far Side Last Impressions. I didn't realize every day is a different kind of death [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] oops, but so far my favorite is several people entering hell, walking past the devil, on the wall is a sign "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."<p>*For balance I'm on a daily devotional email list from crosswalk.com.<p>*I light scented candles, play music, current favorite the soundtrack from OH BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?<p>I've read petting a cat or dog lowers blood pressure, and it can be nice, however 4 housecats & a dog occasionally raise my blood pressure.<p>I walk/exercise as many days a week as I can, which I find brings down my anxiety. Suspect I'm known in the neighborhood as the "muttering lady" [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>I'm lucky I have a job that is a perfect fit for me, used bookstore owner, but sometimes it's just business, tax forms & databases...so I take time to do the parts I love, restocking, incoming books, reading titles & blurbs. <p>Oh, and relating to books, I collect MAD, Calvin & Hobbes, Far Side, Bloom County, Doonesbury, Garfield, Dilbert...among other things.<p>I call my H & ask "what are you wearing?" (he's military, always in unifom) and I giggle.<p>Eat popcorn for lunch (don't ask about the healthfulness of my diet).<p>Make sure I touch base with my teenagers & H, "What was your day like?" What questions seem to garner more detail than "How was your day" Fine.

You don't happen to live in Houston do you? I would LOVE to work at a used bookstore! ;-)

great thread! I'll play! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Well, I remember for a while after d-day, all it took to lift my spirits was to be thankful I had 10 fingers and 10 toes. That's about all I could do. My spirits were very low - in other words. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I quickly learned I couldn't listen to the radio or watch tv or movies anymore. EVERYTHING reminded me of H and I would bawl my eyes out. Sooooo... I had to find other things to do. Many of them I still do today. Of course now my challenge is being alone, and feeeling bad about myself (plus regular stress of life that we all have).<p>- Listen to Christian music (which had no triggers, and is naturally uplifting anyway)
- Read read read (mostly self-help or inspirational books)
- Watch silly stuff on TV (Frasier, cartoons, I Love Lucy, Gilligans Island, Spin City, Whose Line is it Anyway?, etc)
- I read several daily inspirational quotes and thoughts of the day that come on e-mail
- Pray, and/or bible-study
- Walk (exercise)
- Work in the yard
- come on MB and see if I can help someone a teensy-weensy little bit
- Get manicures, pedicures, or my hair done
- Remind myself to work on me, and quit worrying about "fixing" everyone else - especially H
- Oh yeah... after d-day I used to punch and throw pillows to release my anger and pain [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>thanks Lor [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Sorry, spacecase, I'm in the north country...we're expecting snow tonight and through the weekend, seeming like a rather godforsaken place to live...hence the "lift the spirits" post [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Like this one Lor.
I have used all the ones Faith1 listed - and my turning point was to smash a set of glasses H had bought me for my birthday after he had left me. I have never thrown things in my life so a definite 180 which I did in his presence. I have felt much better ever since !!!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I asked a similar question a while ago. Here is the thread:<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=34&t=003801<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

Lifting spirits, re-directing thoughts, and regaining emotional control...does sleep count? I have some great dreams!<p>Hmmmm..well, if I'm at work and things get too crazy, I can take about 6 steps out my office door and stare at the Pacific Ocean...that is extremely calming.<p>Tell a joke.
Dance like a fool (have been known to disco in the waiting room at lunch....sometimes with patients)
Sing at the top of my lungs driving home.
Make my hands talk to each other like alligators.
Go ahead and give in to a good cry every now and then.
Play volleyball.
Talk to my kids.
Snarl in the mirror<p>T

Gosh, you know, I AM an emotional eater cuz I KNOW I eat sweets to give myself a lift... Just the thought of this question brings to my mind cheesecake, homebaked cookies, pie a la mode, ICE CREAMMMMMM! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I give myself a squeeze and tell myself I love me.<p>I pray. I meditate on scriptures. Try to get my own answers from God. <p>Listen to my favorite music or preaching tapes.<p>Read God's promises, esp. about His love for me, my bright future, and His promises for my kids (protection, health, joy, peace, etc.)<p>Tickle my kids, even the big one... and enjoy their laughter.<p>Spray bug poison in my yard! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Last spring, I sprayed enough to kill ALL the weeds too! LOL! That thrilled me to no end! (See justthewife's bug thread on EN forum for details & a photo link...) Can't wait to tackle the bugs and weeds in my yard this year!!! Seriously!!! They all must DIE!<p>Going to organize the garage. I bought a bunch of big containers to sort everything in. I'm excited about finishing that project. This month...<p>I'm going to stay at a hotel next month for a few days to take some "mommie-time-out." That ALWAYS does the trick!<p>Thanks Lor(Lor) for starting this thread. You always give terrific advice and I think your recovery story is absolutely amazing. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Just so you know for the record...

Lor---<p>I'll bite, too.<p>Following d-day I had the same problem everyone here seems to have---hard to lsiten to music, read books, watch movies.<p>Now they are part of what keeps me sane.<p>My favorite things to do now:<p>* Exercise. I run and bike every day, some days twice a day
* Read. I usually have three or four books going at one time. Fiction, politics, self-help. Also several magazines as well.
* Movies. Love 'em. Usually go every weekend.
* Friends. Spending time with them just chatting, having dinner, seeing a movie.
* Music. I can listen to the radio now and I like country music so if there's nothing worth watching on TV I'll tune in VH1-Country or CMT and amuse myself with videos for awhile. <p>I still miss my WW desparately, but I 've found some of these things can be a nice distraction...<p>E

For anger- I get out yards and yards of BUBBLE WRAP and pop away! My 3 kids enjoy this too so I
tear them off their own strips!<p>For anxiety- I read the excellent book Calm my Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow and I go to 2 ladies Bible studies per week, plus I take an anti-D called effexor- its works for anxiety AND depression<p>For extra energy- Starbucks venti latte( no dixie cup size for me!) and lemon cake addiction- and yes they KNOW what I'm going to order when I go up to the counter ( sigh!)

I argue with my h...when I'm alone driving! It's great because 'he' always says just what I want him to! He's always just the right amount of beligerent, apologetic, abject miserable, whatever.<p>I also listen to and sing along with my favorite songs...the weirdest cd you ever heard--everything from cher and chris isaak to twisted sister and ozzy! OH, and my all-time favorite--Tom Jones singing 'you can leave your hat on'.

I like this post!!!<p>To pick myself up I ...<p>drive anywhere
shop
paint my nails
read
talk on the phone
drink diet coke (always makes me feel better)
exercise
go out with friends<p>the list goes on and on. <p>I feel really good about life right now and almost anything I do makes me feel good about life.

I'm so glad so many of you played! More are welcome. I have a confession....<p>Now that your hair is standing on end [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] ....<p>Bad trigger day today. 4 years ago, my H went to a work conference alone, began PA with a co-worker. The same conference started today...and I couldn't go with him. So, doing my best not to have a melt-down, and starting this thread so I could read it today was saftey net. <p>H offered a couple more, he rode across the state with 3 neighborhood co-workers. He & one of them are sharing a room. I told him that really helped and I wasn't worried or wound up about him going, which was...mostly true, I wanted it to be true. <p>I trust him more than I would have guessed, actually.<p>He wore his wedding ring--he forgets sometimes, so do I, rarely an issue any more. <p>He's wearing his cell phone. <p>And, of course, the FOW is married to his former housemate, so though I will always view her with suspicion & dislike, I think anything with her is unlikely.<p>His group is also coming back early, on Sat am.<p>I'm pretty sure I can do this without any nuttiness. But you all really did me a fine service, without knowing why and I'd bearhug each & everyone of you [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>Faith1-"be thankful I had 10 fingers and 10 toes" In the early days I used to say "well, at least my house hasn't burned down". <p>Jante-I too find smashing things rather satisfying, but then, I'm also a little clumsy [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] and glasses seem to shatter a lot more often than I need them to.<p>Nina too-thanks for the link. I know this idea isn't original, and maybe each forum should keep a thread like this bumped up....<p>Twyla-I love the hands talking like alligatores, if I walk, mutter AND have my hands talking, I'm sure I can earn a "reputation". <p>BIN-I'm avoiding my garage as I sit here [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] it's one of my goals to surprise my H. Thank you for the compliment, pretty much any oldtimer could tell you I started out here pretty volatile, I've learned a lot. My story having a positive outcome still amazes me too [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>Elad-a good distraction has often gotten me through the day. I'm sorry you the situations is such that you have to miss your wife.<p>lifeismessy-bubble wrap sounds like fun. I've never thought about getting large amounts specifically for this purpose.<p>frankly-I saw a bumper sticker for us car singers: "Warning--Driver singing" [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sinking-Nail polish is good, I have 4 bottles sitting here on the computer desk. My H asked me if they are necessary. Oh yes! <p>THANKS AGAIN!!!

I'm in the process RIGHT NOW of downloading songs from 'Veggie Tales' to put on that cd. How can anyone be down while singing a love song to a manatee or singing about 'pirates who don't do anything'--they just stay at home and lie around and if you ask them to do anything, they'll tell you they don't do anything!<p>Love vt!

I read, read, read,<p>& then I should clean but I get lots of pleasure from skimming the leaves & stuff off the top of the pool, there is something so relaxing about doing that & then just sitting & watching the water, I keep a large ball in the pool & watch it float around

How do I lift my spirits? Usually with one hand...unless I've partaken in far too many spirits...then it might take 2 hands. Hee hee [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Frankly, dear...I downloaded all the veggie tales songs I could get off the net and burned them to CD already...you wanna copy to save time? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Barbraaaaa manateeeee...you are the one for meeee...sent from uppabuv...you are the one eye luv [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]