Is there a forum where WS's can go and talk and get support from other WS/Ws? Where we can talk about why we do such stupid, inconsiderate, selfish things to the people we love the most? And share w/ each other things that have helped us get over our addictions for the OM/OW?

Yep - this is it, right here assuming you want to recover and become a FORMER WS.<p>Someone else may mention another web site where it seems WSs not necessarily interested in recovering can have there own pity parties without lookng in a mirror.<p>I feel qualifed to say this even as a BS because of the very constructive communication I've had here with former and near-former WSs.

I am a recovering, former WS, but it's been really, really hard (I had an EA that lasted 2 years). I'm often very sad and miss the OM. I know I shouldn't think that and surely shouldn't admit it. But, at times I would really like to get support from other (former) WS's that are also stuggling with cutting off all contact with these OP with whom we found ourselves in love.

Nothing wrong with wanting information from people who have been in your shoes. I'm a former wayward wife. Ours was a 2 year on again off again...primarily emotional...affair. He was a close friend of ours...grew up with my H. Pretty ugly deal. Anyway, nice to meet you...regardless of the cirmcumstances. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

ashirley - see? h4f is an excellent MB representative.<p>Based on what I've learned, your feelings are very normal. I believe you SHOULD acknowledge and admit them in order to move forward. It is very safe here to put it all on the table and deal with it.<p>Please stick around and I'll bet that soon, you'll be helping others.<p>WAT

ashirley<p>Right here is where you can talk to WSs. Actually you are "talking" to one now. Worthatry is correct when saying that here is the place where you can lay your cards on the table. Don't be afraid to say exactly what you are feeling. You will be quite surprised at the support you may get from not only other WSs but also BSs. I was very apprehensive about posting because I thought it was a site for BSs. But after telling my story and asking for advice, so many BSs came out and gave insight to me on how my H was feeling and how to deal with that. It has been a big help. I think you will find the same is true. <p>Regretting

Thanks for your responses. I really appreciate them. I'll read your stories...I know I'll learn a lot.
Thanks!

ashirley,
You've been wonderful to have around, you have given me very important insight into the issues of the WS, and your desire to participate is invaluable to the progress of our quests.
I too hope that by sharing my side of things with you, I've somehow been able to help you, and I'm here to continue to do that whan I can.
Stick around. I think you're in the right place. ;-)

Welcome, ashirley<p>I too am a wayward spouse bent on recovering my marriage. This forum has been excellent in helping me understand what I have to do restore my relationship with my wife. Not having been a betrayed spouse, it helps to have their perspective. At the same time, I think a lot of betrayed spouses are at a complete loss for what's going on in the head of the WS. I think we can offer them this insight.<p>However, just as we can never understand the hurt we've put them through, they can never truly appreciate the addiction/obsession we fight - as much as they want to.<p>WAT is right...as long as you are here to REBUILD, there will be WS's you can talk to. But we can't expect MARRIAGE BUILDERS to be the right place for us if we want to continue our affair...No one here will support you in that.<p>You're in for some tough days ahead...we'll help as best we can.<p>Low

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by ashirley:
<strong>I am a recovering, former WS, but it's been really, really hard (I had an EA that lasted 2 years). I'm often very sad and miss the OM. I know I shouldn't think that and surely shouldn't admit it. But, at times I would really like to get support from other (former) WS's that are also stuggling with cutting off all contact with these OP with whom we found ourselves in love.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Yes you should miss him. That is part of the process. Yes, you should admit it, that is also part of the process.<p>Honestly, this is the best place to seek support for such. Some of the wisest people at this site are former WS. Your withdrawal from the OM is expected and necessary for your recovery. As a BS, I certainly don't hold such against you. My wife struggled with the same at times.

ashirley,<p>Still very new here myself, I am the Ws also. I see it as I must want to try to do something or I wouldn't spend so much time reading all the posts.<p>My withdrawel at times seems unbearable, I thought admitting all to my H would change this, but here I learned there is so much more to it.<p>I've been trying to look at things 1 day at a time sometimes 1 hour. Searching for things to keep my mind off of OM. If I do not I become more and more depressed. This I don't need or want. It is to distructive to myself, my H and my family.<p>I can honestly say at this moment I have no idea what my future holds, but I know that I have at least begun to try and for this no matter what I can hold my head up high.<p>Well, I can at least say this at this moment.

This is a good place to learn...but Low Orbit is right in that the BS's population (which seems to be the majority around these parts) usually won't have much sympathy for what you're going through. However...there are some very good, very wise people here who have a lot of experience and advice to offer.<p>Don't be afraid of saying what's on your mind...as long as it's respectful. You don't have to censor yourself too much, though, because invariably someone will get ticked off at you (it's the price we pay for the role we play, I suppose). I've sometimes learned the most by ticking people off, though [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ April 19, 2002: Message edited by: TowardsTheFuture ]</p>

Hi ashirley, I am a WS myself. Please feel free to post, WS's will come out of the woodwork to support you. There are more BS's here, but don't let that discourage you one bit.